If you’ve watched HGTV’s “House Hunters” in the past year or two, you might have heard the expression, “Happy wife, happy life” coming from the mouth of some guy who wants a swimming pool in their new backyard but who will let go of this dream to ensure his wife’s happiness.

Or maybe you regularly watch one of the dozens of wedding shows on cable now; surely you’ve heard at least one fiancé or newlywed utter that same phrase: “happy wife, happy life.” He might have said it as his bride-to-be stared him down, demanding with just the slightest pout-of-a-bottom-lip that he bankroll the $10,000 gown that she and her mother picked out at Kleinfeld.

I couldn’t marry any guy who said this. Not even if he uttered it jokingly.

I’m nobody’s wife, so maybe that’s why I don’t fully appreciate this cutesy rhyme. Maybe I’m an idiot for arguing against the idea of “happy wife, happy life.” I really don’t know. What I do know is that whenever I hear that expression, I feel bad for both the guy AND the girl in that relationship.

If you say anything enough times, whether it’s internal or external dialogue, you’ll eventually start to believe it. So how many times must a woman hear this proclamation before it evolves into an expectation of daily living? And how soon will the guy resent his wife for having such an entitled sense of control, even though he was the one fueling the fire?

Again, maybe it starts out as a joke, but I don’t think it’s that funny to portray all women as so controlling that they have complete say over their husbands’ happiness. And I don’t think it’s funny for men to pretend to be okay with that kind of relationship.

I guess in my unmarried, idealistic world, I’m hoping for an equal partnership and compromise from both sides after I walk down the aisle. I’m hoping that my future groom’s happiness is as important to me as mine is to him. Am I crazy? Stupid? I can’t imagine that’s the case.

Thanks MDGovpics for the photo!