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weddings
Jennifer Aniston’s engagement ring from fiancé Justin Theroux.
Actress and former failure at Life (according to the media because she didn’t have a man), Jennifer Aniston, finally showed off her flashy engagement ring to the world. You see, when she announced her engagement back in August e’erybody was like
It was as though people were saying, “Yeah, yeah, you’re happy and shit, but we need proof that Justin loves your refurbished vagina. Show me that ring!” So Aniroux basically responded with, “S my D,” with this $1 million dollar, ten carat diamond ring. And now every single bitch I know is getting their Stuart Smalley on and talking non-stop about how hopeful they are about love and I’m just like,
I worry that in this social media obsessed place we’re in that we’re putting too much emphasis on the wrong things. For example, wedding proposals. They’re just the best, aren’t they? So sweet and full of love. But it’s getting to a point where lately, everyone feels they have to compete with each other for “THE BEST PROPOSAL EVAAAR!!!” And it shouldn’t have to be this way. There’s pressure now more than ever on couples to get engaged in a totally extravagant manner, whether or not that kind of engagement suits either of the people in the couple. People post their incredible flash mob proposals on Facebook and it makes others feel like they have to have their own incredible flash mob proposal. And it’s all just a never ending cycle of pressure and forced expectations.
This was talked about recently on Offbeat Bride, a website that suggests others “altar” their thinking. And it got a lot of people talking about their own proposals and how their family and friends were actually disappointed by them, for not being “romantic” enough or “extravagant” enough, even though the couple in question was perfectly happy with it. Here’s my favorite story:
Before you have the perfect wedding, you have to create the perfect wedding invitation. This usually means getting the colors right, choosing a beautiful yet legible font, and making sure all of the pieces fit nicely inside the envelope. For some brides, however, this isn’t enough; the exterior of the envelope requires just as much attention to detail. Writer Katie Baker cared about those details when planning her own wedding, which led to her discovery of the tiny post office in Bridal Veil, Oregon. She explains:
Each year between March and August, some 150,000 envelopes containing save-the-dates or request-the-honour-of-your-presences are specifically, and even militantly, directed to this particular spot. In a tiny room filled with boxes of envelopes that during high season approach hoarder height, Canzler personally processes every piece of wedding mail, one by one, marking each with a custom postmark and cancellation she designed to honor a place she has long fought to protect.
Read the rest of Baker’s excellent “Love Letters” article at Grantland.
Like many other mid-twenties bachelorettes with a summer birthday and a few post-college years under her belt, I have recently begun to experience the phenomenon that is Wedding Instagram Overload. As in, my friends and/or distant acquaintances are popping the questions and the marriage cherries (maraschino, soaked in fine bourbon and used as a garnish, perhaps?) all over the Internet. It happened for the first time, last year, on my 24th birthday: my worst frenemy from high school took my birthday and turned it into her goddamn wedding anniversary.
And that was when I realized that the next ten years of my life, minimum, and by extension, birthday (parties), are about to be overshadowed and under-appreciated because SUMMER IS WEDDING SEASON AND SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE GETTING MARRIED ON MY BIRTHDAY EVERY YEAR, AND THAT’S WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY STUPID NON-MILESTONE OF A BIRTHDAY. To make things worse, I wasn’t invited.
Sure enough, it happened again this year. An old friend turned acquaintance–you know how these things go, people drift apart when they don’t have frat parties at which to run into each other and casually high five a few times per month!–got married this time, and I was much happier to let him have my birthday as a wedding anniversary. Again, I was not invited. There must have been some mistake! We ate vegetarian food together at that restaurant one time! Cue: FOMO.
I decided I had to find a way to deal with this, and have since compiled the following list of coping mechanisms, because desperate times call for desperate measures, and also I am a writer, so.
Because even non-vegetarians deserve an ethical entree. Even breakfast pizza-tarians.
SUMMER. Summer. Summer. ‘Tis the season to be wed. To attend weddings. With weddings come RSVP cards. Those rectangular devils, with calligraphed Herculean query: chicken or meatless lasagna? Beef balls or vegetarian ‘arrangement’? What’ll it be, punk?
Wedding-havers are fools if they believe “vegetarianism” is the only worthy dietary limitation. There are lots of other mealtime requirements we’d like to see honored. Here are some of them.
The Breakfast Pizza-tarian Option
Whose wedding is it? The one where you’re important enough to be a bridesmaid.
Why you require a breakfast pizza-based meal: Because you are still hungover, and you’ve a mild sense of doom over your friend’s decision to settle for this on again/off again husband thing. There are some crises only breakfast pizza can solve; this is one of them. If you must give a toast, you might as well have toast.
Best consumed: With pause for neither conversation nor breath.
Wine pairing: Maalox, from a childproof dosage cup.
Sure, she looks happy, but this is a MOVIE. Solid advice: don’t hire your date.
Social calendars around the country are filling up fast as spring rolls into summer, and chances are pretty good that you’ve got at least one wedding to attend in the next few months. If you already know who you’re taking, that’s awesome. Have fun! But maybe you’re not sure who will accompany you. Maybe you don’t want to take anybody—which is okay, right? Or maybe you’re not even sure if you’re supposed to bring a date.
Clearly there’s a lot to consider. Thankfully, Jen Doll, author of Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of a Serial Wedding Guest, wrote a helpful guide to help people figure out who to take as a plus-one to upcoming nuptials. She considers all of the tricky scenarios, too, like who to bring to a destination wedding, or what to do if you know you’ll be the only single person in attendance. Check out the full story over at The Date Report.
Time to drool over old photos of gorgeous wedding dresses and gowns. Who’s with me?? Forgive me, but wedding season is upon us and I am not immune. Here are 10 of my favorite vintage wedding dresses.
10. Shirley Temple
Shirley Temple got married at 17 in 1945 and wore this gorgeous satin wedding dress. Don’t you love the fun neckline?
Wedding season is upon is (isn’t it always?) so I thought we could have a little fun and explore the wonderful world of wedding dresses, safely from our computer screens, as trying them on looks like a nightmare.
Here are my top 10 dream wedding dresses. Though I am not engaged or close at all, my wedding Pinterest board has finally come in handy. I know some of you out there know exactly what I’m talking about.
10. The “Grand Palais” by Carol Hannah
At $2,865 it seems like a steal (and I’m not even being sarcastic!). It’s breathtaking with just the right amount of quirky.
Because it’s fun to look at happy couples on their wedding day, BuzzFeed compiled an album of 60 wedding photos from the 1960s. The dresses! The hair! The glasses! It’s all so sweet and retro. If you feel like taking a stroll down someone else’s memory lane, have a look at this and be prepared to smile.
I have this little book of wedding tips from the 1950′s — 1957, to be exact. I’ve never been married or even close so I’ve never read it, and I assumed it would be your cliché 1950′s advice like, “look presentable for him” and “don’t go to bed angry.” But actually, there’s some surprisingly “modern” stuff in here.
For example, the introduction comes with a list of questions for the bride-to-be to ask herself. Questions like:
- When and how to tell the families. (I’ve never thought about that.)
- Whether or not you will have an engagement ring. (I never thought it was an option!)
- Your future home…and its furnishings. (I love this one.)
The Home.
The home and its furnishings is a little 1950′s. Couples didn’t typically live together before getting married, so moving in together and getting furniture and such was a big deal. It still is, it’s why couples still have wedding registries, although it loses some effect when the couple has been living together for a while — you guys already have a blender and a cast iron skillet, stop trying to get me to give you new ones. But that’s not important right now. There’s an entire section later in the book about what the bride needs to ask for: “you’ll need 6 sheets, 1 mattress cover, 3 pillowcases (per pillow)…1 pair of summer blankets, and one of winter ones, and 1 bedspread.” And that’s just the bedding.
I don’t understand wedding diets.
By which I mean, brides going on dieting frenzies for their weddings. At first, I understood why someone would want to lose “x” number of pounds before “the big day”, as they say. You’re going to be photographed a lot, so why not look your best?
But that’s when I realized, you’re going to be photographed a lot, so why would you want to look back at photos of that day and see someone you don’t recognize? I wouldn’t want to look back at my wedding and think, “Damn, that’s the thinnest I’ve ever looked” and feel depressed.
Engagement rings are facing a new trend, and it has nothing to do with stones or settings (or sandwiches). NY Mag‘s The Cut is reporting that more women are buying their own engagement rings. Some are splitting the costs with their fiancés.
It makes sense. Women are getting married later than ever before, and I believe it’s linked to the economy. A lot of young people are living with their parents well into their twenties. It’s a, to quote Danny from Mad Men, “A doggy dog world out there.”
Still, traditionalists lead the pack. Cut also reports that in a Today show poll, 54% of pollers (doesn’t specify whether it’s women only) would not split the costs of an engagement ring. 46% said they would.