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Dear Readers,
Dating & Hookup website is being overhauled. We will be back at you soon with more great, provocative content and brand new multimedia developments. We’re excited. Please stay tuned!
In case you had any doubt that dating is dead, we held a funeral for it – and buried forever the harmful and irrelevant notions about romance, women and relationships that have plagued us for so long. RIP!
As Victoria from The Village Voice writes, we “have no problem bidding goodbye to bullshit rules of courtship.” Nope. Not at all.
(VILLAGE VOICE: dah GIRLS Jessica Donalds & REBECCA WIEGAND HOLD FUNERAL FOR DATING)
In real life, if there were a dah category called “The Guy Who Gives Lots of Love Advice to his Female Friends,” then this week’s dah guy would be a perfect fit. Well, there’s not! But lucky us, we got to pick his brain and glean his post-dating wisdom anyway. Keep reading for some male advice on relationship sex, long-distance flirtation and why men are such assholes.
To submit your questions for next week’s column, email us at with “Ask A dah Guy” in the subject line!
I’ve decided to get a little Emily Post up in here considering there is no current Emily Post and she made it all up anyway. My first order of gauntlet throwing: the social media + break-up connection: what do you with all those photos after the relationship is no more?
I think we need to handle this on a case-by-case basis, which I’ve outlined below. Obviously the real answer is do as you please, but if you can’t figure out what you please, here are some thoughts.
Ever get tired of swiping left or right through a sea of people in your city who have been narrowed down only by an age range? Let’s get more specific shall we?
As always, the Internet has come to our rescue. Here are some incredibly specific dating sites to meet all your individual needs.
EquestrianCupid.com
Unclear whether you can sign up to find someone else who has horse posters all over their room, or if you can match with an actual horse.
I do not know this person. LinkedIn is officially not safe.
Perhaps at some point I accepted an invitation to connect with this man because we are relatively in the same industry, but I do not personally know this person. We have never met.
I don’t know about all you other professional adult people but, I’m on LinkedIn to engage in business. I’m there to make new connections, explore new opportunities, and gauge movement my industry.
I’m not there to flirt. (Even if I am the biggest one I know, I understand boundaries.)
Even if we all texted exactly what we meant…it probably wouldn’t get us very far anyway. JUST PICK UP THE PHONE!
Don’t be one of those people who says they’re giving up on dating this year. Dating is rarely black and white so don’t go all or nothing on this aspect of your life. Just make some New Year’s resolutions to do it better this year than last.
- Put YOU first.
- If you feeling like texting…just text.
- NO GAMES.
- Let old relationships go. For real this time.
- Don’t read into long response times between text messages. PEOPLE HAVE LIVES. Also, you don’t want to be with someone who is 1.) NEEDY 2.) Glued to their phone.
- Don’t deactivate your online dating profiles.
- DO be discerning about who you go out with from online dating sites/apps. You’re special. You don’t need to say yes to everyone.
- Make the first move.
You probably shouldn’t have an Instagram with your significant other. But if you do… Just don’t wind up like this couple.
Dating in 2014 is Log-Lady-from-Twin-Peaks level of weird. Unfortunately, it’s becoming clearer that gone are the days of hitting it off with someone at a party, “Can I take you to dinner and a movie?” and walking them to their front door. We now judge whether someone is “into” us off of how they respond and interact with us on social media. This is not a new idea. It’s just (mostly) truth.
I can’t say anything negative about it, really, since one of the main reasons my boyfriend and I are together is because I added him on Snapchat after we hit it off at a mutual friend’s housewarming party. We sent each other snaps of “The Office” season 3, silly faces, and eventually that grew into a real crush. We’ve been together for almost a year. Can I say, without sounding completely cheesy, that I’m absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with him? Because I am, no regrets.
But dating in 2014 can cause severe anxiety attacks. I know from my single days, from my friends who are currently dating, and from coworkers. We have to literally decode everything from, “He/She just favorited my tweet! Oh my God, they just favorited another one?!” to “They sent me that smirk emoji. What does it MEAN?!?!?!?!?” It’s exhausting and tiresome and embarrassing when we realize that while we’re having these kinds of conversations, our parents and grandparents owned houses and had several children by the time they were our age.
So… anyone else out there watching “Are You The One?” That is, besides me and 13 year old girls? Don’t judge me, alright. The show is addictive. It involves 10 guys and 11 girls all searching for their “Perfect Match.” If, by the end of 10 weeks, they all pair off correctly they win $1 million. (To split, I guess? That’s not much money divided between 20 people and accounting for taxes… but something tells me people old enough to be paying taxes aren’t exactly this show’s target demo.)
It’s easy to get invested in “Are You The One?” because there’s a mystery to solve: who is everyone’s perfect match? Also, that young man Anthony is not unattractive.
If he doesn’t text you back, he’s probably:
- Away from his phone.
- Fell asleep.
- Writing drafts of the perfect text.
- Having a rough time in the bathroom.
- On the phone with his stock broker.
- Making handmade Christmas ornaments for his Etsy store.
- Cleaning out his DVR.
- Crafting a haiku for you.
- Picking out an engagement ring.
- Helping his mom with the yard work.
- Eating a Reuben sandwich.
- Dancing like nobody’s watching.
- Going through some “stuff.”
- Attending high tea.
- Practicing with the NY Giants.
- Winning at online poker.
- Talking to a Cam Girl.
- Eating cheese wiz.
- Folding laundry.
- Gabbing on the phone with a gal pal.
- Living his life imitating art.
- Doing pilates.
- Saving a kitten from a tree.
- DEAD.
Those are the only possible reasons he hasn’t texted you back.