sandwich girlfriend

Have you heard about “Sandwich Girlfriend” yet? It took me a while to even find her real name. She has a blog called 300 Sandwiches. Here’s the site’s mission:

My boyfriend E is obsessed with two things: Star Wars and sandwiches. During a Sunday lunchtime viewing of “Return of the Jedi” he told me: “you are 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!” … And so, I got cooking …

I honestly thought this blog was satire at first, but it turns out the sandwichmaker in question is one Stephanie Smith, a writer for Page Six. How could anyone not think this was satire? The intro on her blog begins with,

“Make me a sandwich.”

That’s what my boyfriend, E, asks without fail every morning. Not “babe, where are my keys?” Not, “honey, where are my socks?” And no, not even, “c’mon, just the tip?”

And then comes right out and says,

That was it—a proposal hinged on me making him sandwiches.

And she describes herself as,

I’m a Midwest girl living in New York, a writer and foodie who loves a good meal. I love chocolate, pork buns, and sushi more than I love a sale at Saks. I’m a woman who loves her man, but also never backs down from a challenge. If he wants three hundred sandwiches, then I’ll deliver.

(NONE of these are bad things. They just seem so very Onion-y. How is “Woman Makes 300 Sandwiches For Boyfriend To Get A Proposal” not the title of an Onion article? How is her description not the description of a character from an Onion article? “I’m a woman who loves her man”?)

But she’s very serious. Her blog contains recipes for every sandwich she makes. And she sees nothing wrong with making sandwiches for an engagement ring. Which, hopefully, both adults in the relationship realize is much more than a ring, but is in fact, a promise to marry. It’s a marriage. She’s trading sandwiches for marriage. I guess marriage has been based on lesser things in the past?

The thing is, I kind of don’t hate her.