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I was 20 and meeting my girlfriend in Hollywood. I’d grown up with her and had known her family for years. Her big sister was a porn star and was throwing her annual birthday bash at a club on Hollywood and Vine, so of course I was invited.
When one is faced with the challenge of what to wear to a porn event, keep in mind that you can never go wrong with lingerie and false eye lashes. I was sporting this amazing cherry red bustier with a face that could kill. I was young and didn’t want to look out of place, so I paid extra attention to my ensemble. When we pulled up in my friend’s sister’s purple Mercedes with a license plate that read her porn name, I knew the party had started.
We were escorted into the club by who I later learned were male actors in the porn industry. When I walked through the door, I entered another world. I was one of the 5% of women in the room without fake tits. As I slowly looked around the club, I began to see some of these impressive tits. There were camera crews and photographers everywhere interviewing these girls, and I suppose the attention excited them because they began pulling their boobs out for the cameras. Then other girls would grab them and suck on them and flick at nipples. I learned at that very moment, porn stars tend to get naked when they are with other porn stars. My underage ass grabbed a cocktail from the bar and made my way around the room.
Nothing. Nothing is sketchier. Ew ew ew.
Count him shocked – shocked! – that so many women watch porn and read Fifty Shades of Grey. Especially when it’s so boring…
(shout out to andrew sullivan for posting this)
This photo, taken in 1867, is entitled “The Devil’s Auction” and features Eliza Blasina, my personal hero for the day. As you can see, she’s wearing a PRETTY SEXY GETUP. What’s not to love about the “horse-head headdress, short costume with attached horsetail, double rows of round beads or bells around ankles, wrists and neck, four rows (Ed. note: four rows!) around upper arm“…? For me, it’s Eliza’s sensuously curled, delicately hoof-like wrists and fingertips that set my heart, errr, a-racing.
Eliza was an exotic dancer of her day. This portrait stands to remind us of what once was alluringly, (perhaps) comically, and certainly naughtily – erotic.
Porn is for men, mostly, right? Indeed, in 2008 about 100 million men access porn online in the US and Canada.
Except in that same year, more than 67 million women read a romance novel, something that generated a cool 1.37 billion dollars in sales for the publishing industry in what is the “single largest share of the fiction market.” So large in fact, that erotica makes more money than the online pornography industry.
These numbers point to some distinctive differences in female arousal, some of which you can probably guess and others which will surprise you.
Via Psychology Today andOgi Ogas and Sai Gaddam’s A Billion Wicked Thoughts
The last few weeks I’ve written about some touchy topics, and the feedback has been both fiery and interesting. So, I thought this week I’d take a nice, gentle stroll down a less controversial path…pornography. If you have thoughts or additions or want to call me an idiot, comment and I’ll happily respond.
So, porn. Let’s discuss.
My relationship with porn is like my relationship with Charlie: kinda gay, a little confusing, carefully navigated, and sometimes even a little sweet.
Stacie Halas, the eighth grade teacher / former porn star who must have exploded the minds of every adolescent boy ever, has been fired.
Six years ago she starred in such amazing features as Big Sausage Pizza, but has since retired from the porn business.
Do you think she should be allowed to teach?
Her NSFW perfomance, here.
Maybe you’re like me and have seen the ads for The Client List, Lifetime’s new drama that airs Sunday night, April 8th.
Maybe, also, you’re like me and whenever you see a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt you throw up a wee bit.
What is it about Jennifer Love Hewitt? I’d say she’s bland, except that blandness is exactly the kind of blandness that provokes reaction. She’s like the Julia Roberts of cable dramas. Jennifer Love Hewitt stars as Jennifer Love Hewitt. Julia Roberts stars as Julia Roberts, a career on red hair, vulnerable pep, a indelible, zou bisou bisou smile. Except I like Julia Roberts.
You’re so interested in my reactions to celebrity persona, aren’t you? I think I should make this article about me.
Except, aren’t all reactions to celebrities — or maybe even REAL people — about us, ultimately? Solipsism hurts.
At least, this article is about us. Because The Client List is something new for Lifetime, a network that has built an audience on women in jeopardy / ken doll dramas. In it, J-Love plays a single mother fighting off the foreclosure of her home with sex work. Shots of cleavage, mad innuendo, that’s it. But, it’s shots of cleavage nonetheless. Middle America, it seems, wants some Hot Sex Prospect in their TV.
And indeed, J-Love is the perfect star for The Client List. Earlier I said she’s bland, but she’s more than that. She’s sexy too, but in a way that is somehow blameless. Her sexiness is like a beauty pageant, a bathing suit competition veiled in propriety.
I discover in this moment the reason I respond with annoyance to J-Love. ‘Cause own it, grrrl. Ladies have lady parts. They want to use them. Don’t pretend like you need permission.
Though, if the Lifetime viewing audience is going to embrace their sexual desires, it is going to be like this. J-Love is a family oriented women who indulges her fantasies, but then…only because she must.
(Speaking of people who don’t need permission, go Becky!)
My boyfriend and I live not too far from the Vivid Entertainment offices on Cahuenga Blvd in LA. In fact, right across the street is an In and Out Burger that we frequent. And sometimes, as I’m ordering my Number Three with pickles, grilled onion and mustard (Anybody wanna kiss me?) a flock of porn stars will traipse in from across the street and order their own In and Out. Oh, LA.
Now, we don’t advocate unilaterally for porn here at WTF?!. And I, too, have mixed feelings about pornography, but realistic ones at that. Though, I do think it’s slightly hilarious that the porn industry is making Rick Santorum look foolish. Recently, he promised to ban all “hardcore pornography” if he becomes president.
In response to Santorum’s “War on Porn” Allison Vivas, the CEO Pink Visual Productioni says, “Sure, there are still some people out there who dislike porn, but even in that case, how many of them really want the U.S. Dept. of Justice spending its time and already stretched-thin resources on prosecuting companies for making entertainment protected by the first amendment and consumed by many Americans voluntarily?”
And also, “There is overwhelming evidence that most adult males enjoy adult entertainment,” said Vivas.
Hah. A fair point.
Johanna Angel also points out that pornographers are people who need to make a living, just like everyone else. “Pornographers aren’t trying to hurt anyone,” she said. “At this point- we’re all just trying to keep our jobs.”
See, porn stars are just people who want to afford a pleasant trip to In and Out, just like the rest of us.
Now, I could argue for and against porn in a lot of ways, but more importantly, aren’t we in a recession you guys?
Via the NY Daily News.
MORE ON PORN:
Housewives reading erotica. Tween girls watching porn.
Famous sex symbol Raquel Welch on porn.
“I think we’ve gotten to the point in our culture where we’re all sex addicts, literally. We have equated happiness in life with as many orgasms as you can possibly pack in, regardless of where it is that you deposit your love interest…
…And I have to honestly say, I think this era of porn is at least partially responsible for it. Where is the anticipation and the personalization? It’s all pre-fab now. You have these images coming at you unannounced and unsolicited. It just gets to be so plastic and phony to me. Maybe men respond to that. But is it really better than an experience with a real life girl that he cares about? It’s an exploitation of the poor male’s libidos. Poor babies, they can’t control themselves…
…I just imagine them sitting in front of their computers, completely annihilated. They haven’t done anything, they don’t have a job, they barely have ambition anymore. And it makes for laziness and a not very good sex partner. Do they know how to negotiate something that isn’t pre-fab and injected directly into their brain?…
…I don’t care if I’m becoming one of those old fogies who says, “Back in my day we didn’t have to hear about sex all the time.” Can you imagine? My fantasies were all made up on my own. They’re ruining us with all the explanations and the graphicness. Nobody remembers what it’s like to be left to form your own ideas about what’s erotic and sexual. We’re not allowed any individuality. I thought that was the fun of the whole thing. It’s my fantasy. I didn’t pick it off the Internet somewhere. It’s my fantasy.”
Quotes from Men’s Health: Interview with Raquel Welch
Image via PhotoJoel
As an eight year old, my three favorite movies were The Jungle Book, On My Day Off, and Hot, Sweet, and Sticky. One beloved Disney classic…and two of my older brother’s porn tapes… This is a seemingly odd combination until you re-analyze the phallic nature of the Jungle Book snake, Kaa, and the textbook bear/twink relationship between Baloo and Mowgli.
After a few years of grappling with the issues presented by said films (For example, why would porn with such a messy title would open with a lesbian shower scene?), I turned to a new outlet: the World Wide Web. In the dawn of this new era of the Internet, communicating with strangers in chat rooms was easier than Math Blaster, and as a budding gay teenager in Kansas, I sought out the attention of what seemed to be an endless supply of gay fellows around the world. And so began my experience with the new era of porn: pseudo-reality…
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