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In real life, if there were a dah category called “The Guy Who Gives Lots of Love Advice to his Female Friends,” then this week’s dah guy would be a perfect fit. Well, there’s not! But lucky us, we got to pick his brain and glean his post-dating wisdom anyway. Keep reading for some male advice on relationship sex, long-distance flirtation and why men are such assholes.
To submit your questions for next week’s column, email us at with “Ask A dah Guy” in the subject line!
Actress and former failure at Life (according to the media because she didn’t have a man), Jennifer Aniston, finally showed off her flashy engagement ring to the world. You see, when she announced her engagement back in August e’erybody was like
It was as though people were saying, “Yeah, yeah, you’re happy and shit, but we need proof that Justin loves your refurbished vagina. Show me that ring!” So Aniroux basically responded with, “S my D,” with this $1 million dollar, ten carat diamond ring. And now every single bitch I know is getting their Stuart Smalley on and talking non-stop about how hopeful they are about love and I’m just like,
My husband and I were college sweethearts, then dated long distance across the Atlantic for a year, and finally moved in together and dated for a few more years. By the time our marriage rolled around, I thought we had everything figured out and there was nothing left to discuss.
Kids? Yes, two. (Three automatically if twins first.)
Pets: a dog, but not until we have a backyard.
What else is there?
We were so compatible we couldn’t think of anything we disagreed about and didn’t worry too much about figuring out any problems in the future. But, as we sat with Rabbi Lynn (his choice of religion, my choice of requiring a woman to officiate, check, check), she threw us a curveball.
“Here’s your homework,” she said. “I want you to think of five reasons you love your partner.”
In the coming week, I was shocked by this simple request. We decided that we wouldn’t discuss the answers, but that we’d write them down and share them with each other (and the rabbi) the following week.
My answer: Only if I really had to!
I came across this article from the New York Times real estate section, profiling several married couples living in New York…with roommates.
Anywhere else in the country and you’d find it a little strange. The first few years of marriages are for Sunday mornings spent in bed, binge watching TV on the couch, walking around in your underwear, and general stewing in the marital soup of each other before you become too comfortable with each other or children appear, whichever comes first. It’s not, stereotypically speaking, an extension of your college/post-college experience, roommates and all.
But in New York, it makes sense, and it’s possibly the smartest decision. It seems like a huge reach for a married couple to afford rent on their own AND save for the future. Perhaps the only way to save for a house is to live with others, if you want to live in NYC of course, which I don’t blame you.
I live in LA and have a pretty sweet set up with my boyfriend. It’s a two bedroom, two bathroom spacious place in a rent stabilized building. We won’t be moving until we buy a house. I haven’t had a roommate since I was 23 years old, and I can’t imagine doing it again, especially if I was married, even if I lived in NYC.
Postcards aren’t enough anymore! We’re looking for high production value people!!
Ok, but honestly, this is so cute, and probably so fun for their friends and family. Also, possibly the best par, it’s totally eco-friendly. No one feels pressure to keep it lingering on the fridge for X amount of months, and then weird guilt when you inevitably toss it in the trash because what else are you going to do with it.
Bottom line: YAY for creative wedding messaging!
Allen Chou was just 27 when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. His girlfriend, Linda Sim, was 25. When his diagnosis got worse, they hoped for a miracle… and made a plan. This short documentary explores their journey.
It’s a bittersweet real life Nicholas Sparks story. Floyd and Violet Hartwig died just five hours apart on February 11th. Violet has been suffering from dementia for a few years when Floyd went into kidney failure and was given two weeks to live. Their daughter made accommodations for the couple to share a hospice room and, when the time coming for for Floyd to go, she placed her parents’ hands together. Although Violet was not coherent, her family told her of Floyd’s passing. Five hours, she joined her husband.
Amongst the barrage of divorce statistics, celeb break up news, and cheating scandals, it’s refreshing to know that true, lasting love and respect still show a glimmer of hope. Thank you Floyd and Violet!
Read the whole story at ABC!
Oh boy, oh boy. You think you’ve seen it all with wedding invites until you’ve seen this one:
Thankfully, this did not go out to the entire guest list, but rather two people in particular…the bride’s parents.
According to the Daily Mail, Aussie based Alyssa Pearce, 23, posted the un-invitation on Reddit before her wedding to husband Alex, 28, last year. Obviously, this went viral. How could it not? In the original post Alyssa offered some context that a family dispute, due to a contentious relationship with her father, had driven her to run away from home at the age of 16.
I knew everything was going to change when I turned thirty and got married in two consecutive days. But I figured there was no reason to space out these major life events. Bring it on, I told myself. Let’s see what the future holds.
Then nothing changed. My husband and I had been together for a year and a half, and we had moved into a new apartment in the months preceding our wedding. I had already phased out my dah of guys and adjusted to a warm and easy routine of contented coupledom. I’d also gone through a ‘process of strategic career adjustment’ (as I deemed it) and was finally embedded in a creative day-to-day of reading about medieval art and philosophy, attempting to write plays, screenplays and novels, and playing music on my piano, flute and guitar.
My world had changed without my noticing it. I realized, with some shock, that I had changed as well.
What had happened to the flitting, pugnacious, amorous and shameless twenty-something lady I had been? How had she disappeared, fading away even from my mind, absolutely, and without saying goodbye?
I became introspective. I had changed, but how and into what? Who had I become?
My favorite English teacher had always said, “people don’t change, they just become more themselves.” I felt this observation to be true. I had evolved, or returned, to a more authentic version of myself. But I was caught pondering: How did the disparate decades of my life cohere? What the heck had I been doing then and what the hell was I doing now?
Read the rest at 40:20 Vision, where a celebration of ‘thirty-somethings’ is underway!
photo credit: Aisha Singleton Photography
Just when I thought I’d heard of every fear a woman could have, here’s a new one: women who are afraid to eat in front of their guys. I couldn’t believe this was a real thing, but The Daily Mail reported on women who have this exact concern. These women are terrified to eat in front of their husbands and boyfriends, for fear of being perceived as “greedy” or “not feminine” or “unappealing.” That’s what 32-year-old Abi Steel says about eating in front of her husband:
I’ve made a very calculated decision to limit the times we sit and eat together. It’s just so unappealing. I want my husband always to find me attractive, and munching away in front of him is the last thing he needs to see.
[...] Eating cereal is a particular problem,’ she says. ‘The noise is simply unbearable. Corn on the cob is even worse – messily eating with your fingers makes you so unappealing. It’s a relief not to have to eat with Tristan and also that he is happy to dine while I sit and chat to him.
And here’s the worst part — her husband, Tristan, agrees!
In a relationship, what’s the worst thing someone could do to you? Lying has to be up there, right? Take that times a million. Twenty-three-year-old Tucker Blandford, from Connecticut, took lying to the extreme when he faked his own death to get out of getting married to his fiance, 23-year-old Alex Lanchester. Yes, you read that correctly – he faked his own death. To get out of marriage. Extreme, no?
How did he pull this off? Not very well. He and Alex are in a long distance relationship (she’s from the UK, he’s from the US), so he simply pretended to be his dad calling Alex to inform her that he had died. What he didn’t count on was Alex calling his mom. Once his mom heard the fake news, she let Alex know that Tucker was perfectly fine.
Here’s how it went down, according to Alex, via Oddity Central:
I picked up my phone and there was a man saying he was Tucker’s dad. He told me Tucker had been deeply depressed and wanted to die, so had thrown himself in front of a car. The man explained that they had been trying to send Tucker off to a psychiatric unit for help. But it was too late. I couldn’t breathe. It was absolutely devastating.
And once she found out the truth?
He has shattered my trust and I’m not sure I’ll ever be in a relationship again. All I ever did was love him. I’m so sick of being messed around and I’m glad to be rid of him. Looking back, maybe I was naive. But I really loved him and never thought he would go to such extreme measures to dump me. I’ve cried until I felt numb but now I’m just really angry.
I don’t think anyone would or could, blame her. What this man did was absolutely insane.
I really didn’t mean to fall in love with my husband. Don’t get me wrong – I was looking for Mr. Right. I just didn’t think the random fling I had when I was 21 would be it.
It all began a couple of Thanksgivings ago while I was escaping my 9-5 job one weekend in Park City, Utah with my best friend Megan, when she informed me that 12 very cute and very single foreign men were renting the house directly across the street from hers. Since it was Turkey Day, we had the perfect excuse to knock on their door and get to know them. Within minutes, I began an intense eye- “love making” session with a dashing Australian guy named Paul.
The next night we decided to all go out. Since I was young and single, I did what any normal American girl would do – I made out with Paul on the dance floor until last call.
And then I went home with him.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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