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Mad Men
I try not to ramble on too much about relationships and my greatest failures in life. Hey, it’ll be fun! Check it out.
And let me tell you something — it’s totally okay if you don’t have a date for Halloween.
Are YOU dressing up for Halloween? What/who as?
Have fun!
Ladies! We brought your latest post-dating quandaries to a guy who is quite the triple threat. One part life coach, one part sports nut, and one part decoder of ambiguous text messages, this week’s dah Guy tackles your questions about meeting men, making the first move and revealing your “sex number” with a calm wisdom that will leave you feeling way more zen about your love life than you did five minutes ago.
Now, let’s get those questions answered…
To submit your questions for next week’s guy, email us at with “Ask a dah Guy” in the subject line!
COOL. OPENS ON ARNOLD AND SYLVIA FIGHTING. WHO CARES. Don hears them from the elevator and then creeps away like a weirdo.
Now SCDP and Peggy’s company or whatever are merged. It happened so quickly? How are they all in the same building already? How is there enough room for everyone? Okay, I guess there isn’t enough room for everyone because the secretaries are crying about how everyone in creative won’t be able to fit into the same room. Joan tells everyone to cool their jets.
I’m so glad that Peggy and Joan can talk together again! I HOPE THEY BECOME BESTIES AND BRUSH EACH OTHER’S HAIR AND TALK ABOUT BOYS TOGETHER. There needs to be a more magical relationship between the two of them.
The old guy in charge of SCDP is reading something about how the merger was great. Everyone is like, “Wooooooo.”
Pete’s late to the meeting and it’s full, so he starts crying about how he doesn’t have a chair in the meeting room because he sucks. Get the fuck ovvvvver it, Pete. Damn.
Whenever they have a meeting on this show I have no idea what’s going on.
Okay, so this episode was the first one this season that seemed to have some forward movement. Like, there was actually a plot in this episode instead of people just existing. First of all, we found out that SCDP has the option of going public, and that each of the partners could stand to make at least $1,000,000. Don was not included in the going public discussion because he’s a boring old stick-in-the-mud. Pete and Joan were like, totes celebrating, and Joan was surprisingly excited about the money, but maybe not that surprising because she had to do some crappy stuff to get where she is, and it’s finally paying off.
Mad Men time again! Liveblog time again.
The show opens on Don and Pete having a secret ketchup meeting!!! They’re in Pete’s bro apartment, and the ketchup guy is also the worst because when he leaves, he takes off his wedding ring and says he’s gonna go party in the city. Also, Pete’s hairline is terrible. I think it’s actually getting worse as this season goes on, which is really darkly tragic for Pete. But also, he’s a total douchebag, so I’m totally pleased about it.
Don’s secretary Dawn and her pal go out to a diner and talk about how she’ll never meet anyone at work. She basically ends up saying every guy there is crazy, and it’s interesting to see her take on the office finally. Plus, it was nice to see her talking to someone not from the office.
Finally we get to see some Joooan. Her mom is being stupid and annoying as usual. Joan’s Mary-Kay friend, Kate, is at her house giving her mom a makeover, and her mom seems pretty pleased to talk about Joan being a partner at the firm. Joan doesn’t seem sad about her status as partner being brought up, but I feel like this is going to pop up again later.
MAD MEN, Y’ALL! I’ll be here every week. Except last week. Last week I missed the premiere, so we’ll pretend this is my premiere. I’m calling this a recap, but it’s more of a live-blog. Let’s jump in, shall we?
Cool, first minute and I’m pretty sure Pete is already being a skeezeball. Way to go, Pete. You turd. He’s talking about hot dogs and simulated sex acts and I was too busy typing the above sentence to know why, but I’m sure it doesn’t matter. (Oh, I guess he was talking about giving some honey-buns [his lady-neighbors] tickets to see Hair.) Pete and his wife Annie from Community are now saying bye to their guests. The dude-neighbors were being totally pervy to Annie-Trudy, but she didn’t seem phased? Now the neighbors are gone and Pete’s kickin’ back on the couch while Annie-Trudy cleans up. TYPICAL MAN.
Okay, now Don is in the elevator with his neighbor, The Doctor. The Doctor was saying bye to his wife (Sylvia) (the one Don is boning!!!) and then this dick Dr. dude is like, “YOU’RE LUCKY YOUR WIFE WORKS, DON, BECAUSE MINE IS JUST TAKIN’ ALL MY MONEY” because WOMEN! The men have a long laugh. Then the doctor gets off the elevator but I have no idea where he goes because it seems like they only went down 2 floors.
January Jones is awesome. I want to be January Jones. I don’t know why people hate her.
Okay, I kind of know why people hate her. They think she’s ungrateful. That she’s a bad actress who doesn’t deserve her job. That she’s cold. That she thinks she’s above everyone. Some don’t like her because they think she’s a slut. Maybe all of these things are true.
But maybe…just maybe…they aren’t.
And you know what? Even if they are, I don’t care. I still want to be her. My feelings only intensified after she told The Washington Post that,
It makes me laugh when the ‘Fashion Police’ hate what I wear. I loved my whole look that night [at the Screen Actor's Guild Awards]. It was really fun. And I just like people looking at me like I was crazy. [Fashion is] a fun way to express yourself. … And I sort of like not pleasing people a bit.
And she means it. She is one of three women who show up to stupid award shows in dresses that most women wouldn’t dare attempt. (The other two are Helena Bonham Carter and Bjork.) In a sea of boring beige, Miss Jones steps it up in all kinds of daring ensambles and doesn’t even care.
January Jones had a baby in September of 2011 and never revealed the name of the father and I hate myself for wanting to know.
Though it happened a while ago (especially in celeb gossip time) every single mention of Jones since includes a line or two about how she has a baby and hasn’t revealed the name of the father. As though that’s her identity now: Single Mom With A Mysterious Baby. Or worse, Slut.
Back when she gave birth, some of the comments on blog posts regarding the unnamed father, were ruthless. Many commented snarkily, “She doesn’t even know.” Yeah, because if a woman has a kid and decides to raise the baby on her own, and doesn’t reveal the name of the father, it must be because she’s a slut who slept with so many men that she couldn’t keep track of which one impregnated her.
I’m so ready for Don & Company to be back. Alison and I may have to fight over who gets to (libidinously) cover this season of Mad Men (hello, girl, I have Mad Men’d myself already, see me and Don, above) – but in any case, stay tuned for lots of WTF?! commentary and ruminations on lust, ambition, hypocrisy, infidelity, fashion, advertising, woman power, misogyny, cigarettes and America’s cult of masculinity. As well as lots of self -loathing and self-flagellation about WHYYY Don Draper is so hot when he’s also such an a$$hole???
Not getting the response you want online? Try Cholafy-ing yourself!
If only interent memes and online dating worked the same way. Or, um…maybe not?
Don Draper is the sexy train wreck you can’t look away from. He does it with such flair! He’s so vulnerable when he makes (another) bad decision!
Great for TV. Bad for life.
Mad Men, the drama returns March 25th.
I’m already talking about it.
I’m even publishing this promo video, which is nothing more than a tease. But if you clicked on this post, you’re just like me and you’re totally going to watch it anyway.
Go ahead Don, say yes.
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