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Dating Tips
One of the questions I’m asked all the time, aside from, “Are you drunk?” is, “How do I tell if someone likes me? Like, likes me?”
My answer to this is, “If you have to ask, they don’t like like you.” That’s number one. I know this may hurt, but if someone really liked you, you would know. And if a month passed by and they didn’t make a move, it’s not going to happen.
But some people are diabolically shy, and make this a little harder to figure out. And on the other side are the people who are diabolically clueless who don’t realize if someone is blatantly hitting on you.
So, you want to know how to tell if someone likes you? Here are some hints.
Dating is hard, not dating is hard, semi-dating is hard, everything is hard, and that’s what she said.
We all have questions about dating. “Why didn’t he/she/scary clown text me back?” “How do I approach people?” “Is this a good photo to put on OKCupid?” and on and on and on until you are so sick of yourself and so sick of everyone else and you’re just tired and want to go home.
I have some ideas on how we can all date better.
1. Always assume you’re paying for dinner/coffee/drinks/tickets to the wax museum. No, this isn’t directed towards men. This is directed towards men and women. Do I prefer if men pay? You bet your sweet bippy I do. I always prefer when people buy me things. But I’m still going to leave the house with enough money (cash, no way in hell am I going to be let Future Drunk Almie run up another $80 bar tab) to cover whatever it is I’m planning to spend it on that night. So by “assume” I guess what I’m really saying is, always have enough money to pay for yourself. Offer to pay, even if you don’t want to, even if it’s just for the sake of being polite. But dudes really, just assume you’re going to pay and we’ll offer to split it, and decline our offer. Ideally.
One of the questions I’m asked all the time, aside from, “Are you drunk?” is, “How do I tell if someone likes me? Like, likes me?” Well, it’s usually pretty simple how to tell if someone likes you.
My answer to this is, “If you have to ask, they don’t like like you.” That’s number one. I know this may hurt, but if someone really liked you, you would know. And if a month passed by and they didn’t make a move, it’s not going to happen.
But some people are diabolically shy, and make this a little harder to figure out. And on the other side are the people who are diabolically clueless who don’t realize if someone is blatantly hitting on you.
Here are some hints if someone is into you (or not):
– They go out of their way to make you happy. This could mean hanging out with you, helping you out with something, whatever. Going out of their way means maybe they have to drive a long distance or change up their plans, but they do it because they like you, and want to see you.
– They don’t call you repeatedly after 2 AM and ask you to come over. All this means is that they like having sex with you. They don’t like you. They don’t hate you, they just don’t want to take it beyond sex.
“10 Ways To Piss Off A Woman” — sorry, actually the title is “10 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love” is an article on a blog called The Dating Specialist. Nick, “The Dating Specialist” is really psyched and confident about these tips. I can’t see how any of them would work UNLESS you’re in an established relationship and know each other very well. If this is a first (or even second) date, good luck, buddy. Here’s what Nick suggests:
1. Give her a silly nickname.
“You’re such a little brat/punk!” (smiling)
“Don’t worry sweetie/babe/pumpkin/cupcake, everything will be just fine.” (jokingly comforting her)
“I like that you’re always laughing, I’m officially calling you giggles.”
No. Most women hate being called “sweetie” or “little brat” (that one seems weirder than the others) or anything cutesy from a dude they just met or barely know. If any man said to me, “I’m officially calling you giggles” I would realize that I was on a date with Buddy The Elf and I would ask him what his favorite color is.
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