Do you need help finding a man? Joe Bonomo would like to offer his dating advice with his 64 page book titled How To Find Your Man from 1954. Want to find and keep “Your Man”? Follow these tips!
1. Start by filling out a handy chart of “yes” or “no” questions.
Here are the questions (and Joe asks that you fill them out twice. First before reading the book, and then after.)
1. Sure you want to find him? (Sure.)
2. Are you ready for him? (Oh yeah.)
3. Are you mentally relaxed? (Hahahahahaha.)
4. Are you honest with yourself? (Sure.)
5. Can you be honest with him? (Oh yeah.)
6. Are you feminine in appearance? (…what?)
7. Do you look happy? (Well not when I’m having panic attacks, which is fairly often.)
8. Can you share? (Yeah unless it’s my stuff.)
9. Want a guy who’s not quite perfect? (Are you hitting on me, Joe?)
10. Are you prompt for dates? (I try my best, I swear!)
11. Is your outfit complimentary to him? (Yes, I spied on him before our date and matched my outfit accordingly, down to the tie.)
12. Do you want him tailored to fit your idea of Mr. Right? (Who is Mr. Right, really?)
So how did you do, ladies?
Uncomfortable silences, awkward pauses. We’ve all been in those kinds of conversations. But they can be ten times worse when they happen on a first date!
So, how do you keep the conversation flowing? We asked Dan Abelon, co-founder and CEO of SpeedDate.com for his top five first date topics.
1. Future Goals and Dreams
Asking about future dreams and goals is a great way to get a conversation moving and at the same time uncover a great deal of information about potential compatibility. After discovering that his dream of working a hotdog stand in the winter to fund his surfing habits in the summer may in fact be extremely interesting– you may opt to immediately place him in the friendship (rather than relationship) category.
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Pets and love of animals, in general, is another safe topic that has a dual compatibly component built into it. If you are the type to cart your Chihuahua around in your purse yet your new love interest “understands” where Michael Vick is coming from– chances are your relationship is doomed.
Unless reminiscing about past Spring Break conquests, travel is always a safe and interesting topic for a first date. Try to pick out little anecdotes that go along with a past journey that will further deepen the conversation — like a fabulous restaurant you discovered by talking with the locals.
One of the questions I’m asked all the time, aside from, “Are you drunk?” is, “How do I tell if someone likes me? Like, likes me?”
My answer to this is, “If you have to ask, they don’t like like you.” That’s number one. I know this may hurt, but if someone really liked you, you would know. And if a month passed by and they didn’t make a move, it’s not going to happen.
But some people are diabolically shy, and make this a little harder to figure out. And on the other side are the people who are diabolically clueless who don’t realize if someone is blatantly hitting on you.
So, you want to know how to tell if someone likes you? Here are some hints.
You’ve just told your friends a very long story about a guy you went on a date with who you either 1. didn’t click with at all or 2. clicked with but then he did something that ruined the date. You’re telling them you’re not going to see them again. And that’s when they said, “Just give him a chance.”
You know what? No.
Monkey see, monkey do: a pretty simple concept. Neely Steinberg, a dating coach, wrote about applying this way of thinking to the dating world for The Huffington Post:
[It] means taking on a persona, faking it until you make it, in a sense. This sort of modeling can influence their thoughts and actions with regard to their experiences in the dating world, and, when used successfully, can ultimately aid them in the creation of new, more positive beliefs and attitudes.
And thus, The Monkey See Monkey Do Theory on dating. I think it’s a fantastic idea, unless of course, the monkey you’re mirroring is is a diabolical self-destructive monkey.
And I think we all do this without realizing it. When we’re unsure of what to do in a relationship or while dating someone, seriously or casually, we ask our friends for their advice and opinions. And sometimes, we even follow them! So here are some of my notable Monkey See, Monkey Do moments.
Dating is hard, not dating is hard, semi-dating is hard, everything is hard, and that’s what she said.
We all have questions about dating. “Why didn’t he/she/scary clown text me back?” “How do I approach people?” “Is this a good photo to put on OKCupid?” and on and on and on until you are so sick of yourself and so sick of everyone else and you’re just tired and want to go home.
I have some ideas on how we can all date better.
1. Always assume you’re paying for dinner/coffee/drinks/tickets to the wax museum. No, this isn’t directed towards men. This is directed towards men and women. Do I prefer if men pay? You bet your sweet bippy I do. I always prefer when people buy me things. But I’m still going to leave the house with enough money (cash, no way in hell am I going to be let Future Drunk Almie run up another $80 bar tab) to cover whatever it is I’m planning to spend it on that night. So by “assume” I guess what I’m really saying is, always have enough money to pay for yourself. Offer to pay, even if you don’t want to, even if it’s just for the sake of being polite. But dudes really, just assume you’re going to pay and we’ll offer to split it, and decline our offer. Ideally.
“10 Ways To Piss Off A Woman” — sorry, actually the title is “10 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love” is an article on a blog called The Dating Specialist. Nick, “The Dating Specialist” is really psyched and confident about these tips. I can’t see how any of them would work UNLESS you’re in an established relationship and know each other very well. If this is a first (or even second) date, good luck, buddy. Here’s what Nick suggests:
1. Give her a silly nickname.
“You’re such a little brat/punk!” (smiling)
“Don’t worry sweetie/babe/pumpkin/cupcake, everything will be just fine.” (jokingly comforting her)
“I like that you’re always laughing, I’m officially calling you giggles.”
No. Most women hate being called “sweetie” or “little brat” (that one seems weirder than the others) or anything cutesy from a dude they just met or barely know. If any man said to me, “I’m officially calling you giggles” I would realize that I was on a date with Buddy The Elf and I would ask him what his favorite color is.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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