Comedy duo Kat&Nat illustrate what it feels like to be the third wheel with absolutely no exaggerations. Absolutely none.
I am currently not single, and I’m not trying to be — I love my boyfriend and I love being in a couple. But I can be realistic: there are some pretty great things about being single. And I’m not saying I miss these things… well, except maybe #3. Here are the 10 best things about being single.
10. The constant flirting.
You can feel free to flirt with anyone at anytime. Unless you find out the person you’re flirting with has a boyfriend/girlfriend, in which case you should probably stop. But until then, knock yourself out. Be a flirting machine.
Here at Dating & Hookup, we caught up with Chelsea Latimer of Chelsea Talks Smack and asked her some questions about her new video and the meaning of life:
Dating & Hookup: What inspired you to make this video about “doing less” ?
CL: As a naturally creative person, often when I’m lacking creativity I’ll try to pack my schedule and force something to come to me that hasn’t yet. I realized, both in writing, art, and in my life the “answers” or inspiration we’re looking for are greatly tied into allowing SPACE in our minds to come to the right conclusion. It’s incredibly hard to find stillness with so much noise, i.e.; web, cell phones, etc. that doing LESS has to be an active choice and is imperative for inner listening and overall peace/clarity.
Dating & Hookup: In day-to-day life, how do you know when you need to do less vs. do more? What cues do you think you (and we!) can recognize that may tell us it’s time to be mindful, to waste time, to do less… as opposed to plunge forward and do more?
CL: Whenever I start to spin my wheels, or when I realize I keep using the phrase, “I don’t know Fill in the blank-how/what/when….etc)” that means that I’m likely cluttered mentally. I have to drop back INTO myself and intuition. To every action there’s a reaction and my action of creating space/doing less, is always met with reaction; new ideas, fresh perspectives and abundance always follows. Allowing contraction in life, clearing the schedule and mind when HELP during the inevitable times when we’re juggling life’s many “things.”
Some people have a way with words. You always know exactly where they stand on any issue — even those sometimes-tricky relationship-related issues. But some people have a harder time communicating their feelings, so they fall back on overused and worn-out cliches to make their point: “It’s not you; it’s me,” or “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” come to mind.
But what about when a guy says he’s ‘scared’? What is that supposed to mean? Over on the Huffington Post, Holly Sidell discusses what it really means when the guy you’re dating says he’s ‘scared’ – and what that means for you and the relationship.
Apparently, they’ve found a way to predict “The Marrying Kind,” according to a study based on…common sense. No joke.
The study, highlighted in The Atlantic, suggests that if you’re good-looking, fun, nice, and not super gross, you’ll have no problem finding someone to tolerate you forever and always. It also indicates that if a person isn’t totally great in one area, they can compensate in another. Groundbreaking.
After reading this not-so-new information, I sought refuge in the comments as I often do. I’m constantly seeking validation for my feelings, and the comments section is a great place to start. I was not alone in my feelings and, not terribly surprising, the commenters had a much more complex and interesting perspective founded in real life experience:
It’s bound to happen sometime: your friend is dating someone new, and you two just can’t quite get along. Here’s some advice on how to deal with that situation.
Shopping, chocolate, gossip, self-deprecation. These are all major components to my life. So much so, in fact, that my boyfriend has taken to calling me a Cathy Comic. And, I don’t disagree. That bitch had it going on; SHE HAD HER OWN COMIC STRIP.
But apparently, I’m not just a Cathy. I’m also a Daria, whom I received as the result of my “Which 90’s Babe is Your Style Icon” Buzzfeed quiz. And, again, I don’t disagree. I’m totally a Daria. I even have a Jane, who coincidently ended up with Angela Chase as her 90’s babe.
But, I have to ask, is it possible to be both a Cathy and a Daria? They couldn’t be more different.
I think the answer is a resounding: YEEEEEEES!
I figured it out — it’s possible to be friends with an ex. Sometimes it feels like you’ll never get there — there’s so much hurt and pain — but if you really want to, you can. Here’s how to be friends with an ex.
I was never one to bow to the “time heals all wounds” cliché because there are some wounds that time will never heal, but I found at least with my exes, time really did fix a lot. Sometimes you just need something to distance yourself from a situation, and that something is time. It’s great. Once everything settled down, once we both started our “new lives” and got into the swing of things (as they say), time did indeed heal the wounds.
Do women really marry their fathers? I don’t mean literally, of course. I mean, do women typically marry the type of guy whose qualities mirror that of their dad’s? Let’s explore.
CNN did a report and cited psychotherapist Elayne Savage of Berkeley, California with an explanation:
When you grow up familiar with a certain type of person, you’re attracted to that same type of person because it feels comfortable, whether you like it or not. That’s what people mean when they meet a potential partner and say, ‘It ‘feels like I’ve known him my whole life.’
There’s also studies that show people marry those with a slight physical resemblance to their parents:
A Hungarian researcher studied the facial features of 52 families and found a significant correlation between the appearance of men and their fathers-in-law and those of women and their mothers-in-law.
And there’s all sorts of anecdotal evidence. Let’s use Jacqueline Bouvier-Kennedy as an example. We all know she married John F. Kennedy, a charismatic and enigmatic man. Her father, John Vernou Bouvier III, was known as “Black Jack” because of his “omnipresent dark tan” and “flamboyant lifestyle” (Wikipedia) — sound familiar? He was never President of the United States, but he had his own fast-paced, stressful job: a Wall Street stockbroker. My point is, the man wasn’t a slacker.
Join me in the event horizon, will you? It’s over tonight, save for the various members of this cast who manage to cling to E-list fame via reality television. Do not think you have seen the last of Juan Pablo. He’ll haunt our dreams.
What can I say about what we have seen during this winter of our discontent? What can I say about how awful JP is at this? It feels like ABC did about half of the background-checking that Mike Fleiss did with Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? back in ’00.
Christina & Phil
Christy & Curtis
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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