Someone asked me a pretty interesting question last week about this program: “Where is this all going?”
I have no idea. I do not know what the end game is here. Winning this show seems as pyrrhic a victory as the one that guy who saved 36 years of toenails has when crowing to his ex-wife that he finally made the pages of Ripley’s Believe It or Not (I am sure she’s seething with envy). Or that time you read a bunch of Rush Limbaugh’s books in the hopes that you might attract that young Republican that one time in high school.
The point is: I do not have any idea where this is heading.
Before you have the perfect wedding, you have to create the perfect wedding invitation. This usually means getting the colors right, choosing a beautiful yet legible font, and making sure all of the pieces fit nicely inside the envelope. For some brides, however, this isn’t enough; the exterior of the envelope requires just as much attention to detail. Writer Katie Baker cared about those details when planning her own wedding, which led to her discovery of the tiny post office in Bridal Veil, Oregon. She explains:
Each year between March and August, some 150,000 envelopes containing save-the-dates or request-the-honour-of-your-presences are specifically, and even militantly, directed to this particular spot. In a tiny room filled with boxes of envelopes that during high season approach hoarder height, Canzler personally processes every piece of wedding mail, one by one, marking each with a custom postmark and cancellation she designed to honor a place she has long fought to protect.
Read the rest of Baker’s excellent “Love Letters” article at Grantland.
I really didn’t mean to fall in love with my husband. Don’t get me wrong – I was looking for Mr. Right. I just didn’t think the random fling I had when I was 21 would be it.
It all began a couple of Thanksgivings ago while I was escaping my 9-5 job one weekend in Park City, Utah with my best friend Megan, when she informed me that 12 very cute and very single foreign men were renting the house directly across the street from hers. Since it was Turkey Day, we had the perfect excuse to knock on their door and get to know them. Within minutes, I began an intense eye- “love making” session with a dashing Australian guy named Paul.
The next night we decided to all go out. Since I was young and single, I did what any normal American girl would do – I made out with Paul on the dance floor until last call.
And then I went home with him.
The friendzone can do weird things to a person’s state of mind, like making you think the only person who exists is the one who doesn’t want you back. But you know? That’s total nonsense, and you can overcome that way of thinking.
Well, it’s a new day and a new study about subjective topics like moving in with your partner! The Atlantic reported a very long article called, “In Relationships, Be Deliberate.” The title should be a dead giveaway that statistics aside, this is kind of common sense. Of course you should be deliberate in your relationships. I think most people would agree that it’s pretty important to be deliberate in most aspects of your life. Who wants to deal with a wishy-washy person?
But this isolated article just deals with moving in together. It opens by reiterating that even though traditionalists say moving in together before marriage is a bad idea, progressives are making it the norm. But it’s not actually question of whether or not they should move in.
But before couples sign a lease together, they would do well to ask themselves: Did we slide into the decision to move in together or did we decide to cohabit?
That question matters in terms of the length and quality of subsequent marriage. Traditionalists tend to think cohabiting before marriage is a bad idea, and progressives are more likely to embrace it, but new research says that’s not the best way to approach the question: The important thing is how couples make the leap into a shared life.
Does anyone else find this to be the most nuanced, yet obvious study about relationships?
Yes, relationships can be hard work, but I think we forget that at the core of our relationships should be fun, otherwise, why else do it? It can’t be all complications and pathos. So here are some ways to have fun in a relationship, because it’s so important, and it’s easy to forget.
It could be that new restaurant you’ve always wanted to check out, or maybe your partner’s never been to Disneyland — if it’s new to either of you, give it a shot! Doing new things can be exciting and can make for many new adventures and memories. And don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Maybe you can try a class together — like cooking, or improv. Whatever it is, explore it together.
When you’re single, hearing your best friend refer to herself as “we”, can be annoying; “we” as in, your best friend and her boyfriend. “We” as in, “Oh we love/hate/don’t care for that/him/her.” It can be kind of tiring and the more someone “we’s” the more prone to eye-rolling you get.
But really, there’s nothing wrong with being a “we”. Dare I say we even celebrate the “we’s” of this world?
Because it’s just so hard to find someone in this world. Someone you really connect with, and who, miraculously, connects with you. Someone you love, and miraculously, loves you back. It really is like a miracle sometimes that out of all the billions of people in this world, you’ve found one who tolerates your quirks and even adores them. That’s worth celebrating.
We pick up, not unlike Karate Kid II, at the MOMENT we left off. Everyone analyzes Elise’s bananas speech, except Chris, who’s a whore. Elise continues to support the narrative that exists only in her mind. Elise explains that Dylan was the storm and Chris is the rainbow that comes after the storm. She is like an addict hunting for a crumb of logic, saying, “I must get something here. I must.”
Michelle Money explains that nothing can come between her and Marquel. Until two seconds later, when Danielle from JP’s season arrives, rocking a dress that is straight off the set of “Batdance.”
Given this foreshadowing, it is not surprising that Danielle chooses Marquel. Marquel’s all, “Yeah.” Suddenly everything is not awesome between Michelle and Marquel. Danielle explains that she came here for the rightest of reasons, which was to meet Marquel.
Let the “don’t be last scramble” begin.
Lauren Bacall passed away on August 12 2021, and even at 89 years old, I still say she’s gone too soon. Lauren Bacall was what I always thought of as a woman, in italics. She was the kind of woman I wanted to be: in charge, with a presence that made made everyone freeze in their tracks. Here are some words of wisdom from this impeccable woman.
I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.
Love that attitude. How many actresses have we seen who damaged their faces in the attempt to stave off the inevitable marks of time? Bacall wasn’t going to be one of them. She was going to take her life and put it right on your face, and she’d look at you with that look she had, as if to suggest, “…and?”
Dear Oprah 4,
It is summer in my hemisphere, which means everyone is sticky for 3 whole months. The horrible humidity is killing me, Oprah, I hate it so, so much. Probably because my planet of origin is much more cool and dry, like an Earth desert at night, minus an additional hundred Fahrenheits. Our sand is basically just dry snow. We have camel-oid creatures whose natural hair pattern is a full-body parka, and a native cactus that secretes an ice cream-like substance which you can lick off if you’re extra careful to avoid the poison quills.
It is at this time of year that I am filled with an unquenchable longing for my native climate, especially since the Earth is feeling more and more like the violent and sweltering surface of Venus each year. (Yes I’ve been to Venus. It sucks there.)
Speaking of places I’ve been, outer space is full of fascinating destinations. I have floated peacefully in the swirly purple Massage Clouds of the Horsehead Nebula while on a restorative spa getaway with important alien ladyfriends. I’ve slid down all the slides of the famous Underwater Waterpark in the submerged city of Hydropolis like, multiple times. I’ve been to the bottom of the deepest canyon on the orange planet Raak, where I got separated from my guided tour and sought shelter in a derelict outpost when a strange fever overtook me, until I was nursed back to health by indigenous Raakian canyon-dwellers. And then there was the time my twin-sister Beetlejuicia and I hopped an interstellar space rail and rode it all the way to the outskirts of the Circinus Galaxy, where we got jobs harvesting hallucinogenic goldenberries from the fields of Terragold, a planet whose chief exports are gold, stuff made out of gold, and goldenberries. We had such fun and got such great tans until treacherous Bee predictably ruined everything by running off with all my golden terrabits and my Terragoldian lover, Rodrigo.
I’ve given birth to a human child. My friend Randi has given birth to TWO human children. We sat down to discuss how it affected our bodies, ourselves, and our relationships.
Warning: A little graphic. A lot of funny!
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