I knew I lived in the post-dating world when a guy I liked (at the time, he was the Boyfriend Prospect in my dah) invited me to a barbecue at his apartment…and then texted me telling me to bring my own meat… That’s right! The text message said:
Hey so gun for being ere by 7 or so tomorrow. We’ll have a little bit of food but not enough to sustain the masses so I’d suggest bringing something you’d like to grill
I was mortified. It felt like chivalry was really, truly dead – along with basic hospitality. I questioned whether he was really interested in me or not. I’d figured I was going on a group-non-date, but maybe this barbecue wasn’t going to be a non-date at all? Let alone a date? Some of my friends thought I was crazy for being upset – after all, shouldn’t I embrace the ambiguity and bring some really interesting, cool, reflective-of-my-personality kind of meat (pork butt?). I saw their point, but I felt even more confused since I had reacted so strongly the other way. All together now: WTF?!?!?!
Cut to present day. I was propelled on this trip down memory lane as I was reading IN THE SMALL KITCHEN: 100 RECIPES FROM OUR YEAR OF COOKING IN THE REAL WORLD by Cara Eisenpress and Phoebe Lapine – a cookbook + memoir that is a glorious counterpart to and refutation of that eternally distressing “bring your own meat” text message (which keeps cropping up at various times and in various forms from guys in my dah).
So let’s talk about these girls, their love lives, and their food… (read more)
Follow me on Twitter @jessmassa to read my daily Post-Dating Tips in real time!
Throughout the classrooms of Madison and the sports bars of Green Bay, the post-dating vibe is alive and well in the seemingly-traditional state of Wisconsin. This week’s tips were inspired by some of my WTF?! tour interviews in America’s Dairyland…
There’s an epidemic of bed bugs in NYC and everyone is freaking out! I get it. Who would want to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning covered in itchy welts, unable to function in life until extreme measures (like throwing out your mattress and informing all the neighbors) were studiously, awkwardly taken.
But what fascinates me is how even the spectre of bed bugs is infiltrating our love lives these days…
Surely “I like him” and “I love him” don’t cover it all, right?
Maybe one of these seven more ambiguous emotions will do the trick…
But do guyshave dahs of their own?
Of course they do! And here’s some minute-by-minute proof – in the form of one guy’s week-long Sex Diary.
For a quick refresher course on the Time Orientation Theory in the realm of the post-dating world, check out my last two guest blogs on Past-Oriented and Present-Oriented people:
So I’m sure that by now, you’ve figured out that Future-Oriented is where we want to be. And you’d be right…sort of.
Future-Oriented people can be the best of all Times.
And the Millennial search for role models continues!
Actually, I’m close to calling the whole thing off – I think we’ve found our gal. She’s been around (and awesome) for a while. But after reading her new book, I’m completely sold.
Tina Fey, I love you! And all the other Millennial women I know love you, too! And even some of the men!
Aspiring role models, take note – in my latest Huffington Post piece, I explain exactly why Tina Fey is the ideal idol for our generation. Let the fangirl riot begin.
Four Reasons Millennial Women Adore Tina Fey
Here’s an interesting cycle. First, people dated in real life, face-to-face. Then, technology blew up and we started dating online – both explicitly (check out our WTF?! Online Dating series) and implicitly (read Jess’s HuffPost piece about Facebook’s romantic potential). And now that we’ve figured out all this online stuff, we’re bringing the language of online dating back into our real world interactions.
Bracelets. It’s all about bracelets, people.
(Read more HERE)
“When you surrender to what is and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You do not need it anymore. Presence is the key. Now is the key.” – ECKHART TOLLE
If you want a picture of the WTF?! girls in our 9th grade production of Cinderella, I’m your girl. I love holding court at sorority alumnae weekends, regaling the younger sisters with tales of our former glory. Even my WTF?! username is a nickname that was bestowed upon me during my second day of college.
But being a Past-Positive has not worked out so well when it comes to relationships. Perhaps I should take the advice of Mr. Tolle and be more present and in the moment. Maybe I should forget the past, not worry about the future, and just live in the now.
Or maybe not.
Here’s a little test to see if you are a Present person. Was your yearbook quote:
A) “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”
B) “Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out of it alive.”
C) “Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.”
If you said yes to any of these – or any of them sound like totally awesome quotes to add to your Facebook page – you are one of our Present people. But is living totally for now, in the moment, with no regard for the past or future, really the best way to behave in a relationship?
What are Present people really all about?
It takes only one crazy girl to convince the world that all girls are crazy. Sadly, I think we’ve found that girl.
Men, pay no attention to what you are about to read.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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