Ladies, do you have a BFF? I don’t think I do. I think the person I’m closest to is, weirdly, my ex boyfriend. I don’t feel I have a female bestie, and it kind of worries me. Shouldn’t I have a BFF? It seems like everyone else does. What happened?
It’s important to keep your female friendships in check, because they can take as much work as any other relationship. I feel I let my female friendships slide. Don’t do this.
Here are some ways to keep your female friendships strong.
It’s easy to holla to your girl when she’s going through a bad breakup, but it’s important to check in on a regular Wednesday afternoon. Just send a text or email to let them know you’re thinking about them. I think I became so involved with my own stuff, I neglected my friends. I didn’t do this on purpose, but it happened. Now I make sure to let all my gal pals know that I’m thinking about them and rooting for them. Not in an obsessive stalker way, but in a kind, “Hey girl, hope you’re well” sort of way.
How many of us do this? We say we’re going to hang out, and do we ever really hang out? Probably not. Make the effort. Pick a day, time, and place. Make it easy. Don’t just rely on Facebook as a means of catching up.
It’s so easy to get caught up in jealousy nowadays, what with Facebook and Instagram. Seeing everyone else’s successes can make you doubt your own, and even make you wildly jealous of someone you love and are rooting for. That’s totally normal, but it’s important to remember not to compare yourself to anyone else. And when your friends do well, it’s good for you, too. You love your friends and want them to be at their best. Friends help each other out; when you’re down, they’ll pick you up, and vice versa.
Sometimes people will offer their help and we’ll decline it even though we actually want it. We’re just so down that we can’t imagine getting out of the hole. So when a friend is going through a rough time, offer to be there for her — and really show up. I’m glad that after my breakup, my friends forced me out of the house. It was exactly what I needed. Obviously, don’t bully them, but maybe push them to get out of their comfort zone — because paradoxically, getting out of your comfort zone can be the exact comfort you needed.
How do you keep your female friendships strong?
Photo by Hey Paul Studios via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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