Break-ups suck, but there’s another kind of break-up people don’t talk about as often: breaking up with a friend.
Breaking up with a friend can sometimes be worse than breaking up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, because no one predicts that friendships can, or will, end in a break up. But sometimes it’s necessary. I broke up with a friend once and years later we got back together, so sometimes all that person really needs is a wake up call.
So why break up with a friend? There are a few reasons.
I have a friend I knew in high school and college and we used to be somewhat close; now, I don’t have anything in common with her anymore and heard about her engagement on Facebook. It makes me a little sad, but I’m not angry about it — sometimes, these things happen. If you feel you’re just too different from your friend and have nothing in common anymore, it may be time to cut ties.
I broke up with my friend because I felt she was negative all the time. I have enough problems trying to be positive and I didn’t need someone in my life who was only going to add to that. I needed someone who was going to help me when I was down, not dig a hole for me to sink into.
Your friends are there to support you, no matter how stupid your endeavors may seem. They may not agree with what you do, and they can certainly tell you, but they shouldn’t withdraw support, unless you do something truly awful, like sleep with their husband — no one has to be supportive of that. If you feel your friend isn’t supportive, it’s time to break up.
As with most break ups, it’s best to do it in person. I can’t even imagine how awkward this could be — I broke up with my friend via a letter, an actual handwritten letter, because I thought it was the best way for me to get my thoughts down and was more personal with an email. Whether you do it via mail or in person, the idea is the same: you have to let them know that you’ve been feeling X lately when you need to feel Y, and they haven’t been helping. Acknowledge the good times you had together, and if you’re open for reconciliation, let them know. Sometimes people don’t realize how much they’ve changed, or how negative they are. But I really think you need to let them know, as opposed to just ignoring their calls and texts — that never feels good.
Have you ever had to break up with a friend? How did it go?
Photo by Mathias Klang via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter