Date: 8 January 2011, 19:30 hrs
Location: New York, Williamsburg, Schaefer Landing, Elevator
Background: I reside in a quickly constructed, and surprisingly over-priced building with some nice common areas. I’ve gratefully never run into him while sweating in the gym, wearing harem pants in the mailroom, or drinking cheap rose on the roof. We occasionally see each other as boring normal people in the elevator, so all I know about good-looking neighborman is that he resides on Floor 8 and likes to talk about the roads and the weather.
Conditions: Earlier in the day, I took a guilty pleasure trip to Jack’s 99cent store. Anyone who loves cement-based hairspray, old hard candy, and baggy nylons understands the draw. An afternoon of dumpster diving is a little embarrassing, so I always carry the loot back home in my over-sized purse / carrier bag. And I had a particularly fruitful excursion today.
Occurrence: I enter the elevator bank and am heart-skip-a-beat surprised to see my neighbor crush. We acknowledge each other and exchange smiles. As I summon the courage to ask a get-to-know-you question, but my phone rings and I open my purse wide to rummage for the device. In my effort I accidentally expose a collection of: single packaged tooth brushes, a 3-pack of hair combs, 8 loose pairs of nylons, a bottle of baby oil, a can of hairspray, 2 off-brand deodorant sticks, and a bag of peanuts.
Conclusion: First impression fail means Neighborman is not moving from the elevator crush position in Dating & Hookup order.
Jacqueline is the writer of the blog Moths to a Flame (mothstoaflame.net). She hangs in Greenpoint, moonlights on Wall Street, and is addicted to frequent flier miles. You can follow her on Twitter @mothstoaflame1.
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