Nicki Minaj gave us all some relationship advice on how to handle men in the latest issue of Marie Claire. Here’s what she said:
Don’t chase any man. Put your school first. Men love independent women. You don’t have to be a bitch, but there’s nothing wrong with it at times. And: Men are kids at heart. They want to be nourished and pet like a dog.
I think this is some pretty decent advice…but oh man. We’re doing the “men are like dogs” thing again? That old thing that’s been going around forever?
I’m not saying, “Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the men!!!” because as a society, we do, every day. But is it not just a teensy bit insulting to relate men to dogs? The kid at heart thing, okay. I don’t see how that’s exclusive to men though. It’s another old “boys will be boys” type of thing. How many commercials have we seen where a hapless husband is playing video games and ignoring his wife or accidentally spilling or knocking something over because he’s playing football indoors? And the wife shrugs and holds up a bottle of detergent? Okay admittedly I don’t have cable anymore. So the only commercials I see are on Hulu and most of those are for skin lotion and cars. I guess what I’m saying is that maybe we should give men just a little more credit.
Anymore, most women’s magazines are just terrible, giving the absolute worse possible relationship advice, advice that only further confuses men and makes us even harder to understand. I once read in Cosmo that you should use your thong as a hair tie because your man will think it’s sexy. I swear to God I am not making this up. Can you imagine wearing your thong in your hair and having your guy think anything other than, “What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?”
There’s a dog on my street that hasn’t stopped barking all day. If I gave this dog a pat on the head and a bacon treat, it would be quiet, for just a little while, and it would be enough. And honestly, if someone gave me bacon right now, I’d feel a lot better, too. And sometimes, I also like it when someone pats my head. So I guess what it comes down to is that we all just want to be “nourished.”
And I didn’t realize until now that I didn’t even bat an eye when she compared women to dogs (by using the word “bitch”). Maybe it’s because the actual meaning of the word is so far removed from how we use it now. Thoughts?
Photo credit: Nicki Minaj by Satoshi Saikusa for Maria Claire
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter