A new PUA (“pick-up artist”) technique for hitting on women suggests that you “accidentally” but on purpose graze a girl’s boob. Found on the polarizing “seduction” section of Reddit, one user posted this tip as “gold.” It’s actually an old tip, but it’s new to me. Here’s the plan, transcribed and edited for length:
This is a very important method of kino [to touched or be touched] that has never been mentioned…it’s “the boob touch.”
You need to be holding a drink in order for this to work. When you’re talking to a girl and standing close to her, you lean in and talk into her ear, while your hand that’s holding the drink makes contact with her boob. Leave it there; you’ll be surprised by how many girls let you keep it there and they may actually push up against it. Remember, this is the back of your hand touching her, so it seems totally unintentional. If she backs away, you can immediately realize that she’s gonna take some effort, so if you want you can “Next” her without suffering any humiliation whatsoever.
… Add this little “magic trick” to your arsenal, DJs, and you will be pleasantly surprised.
Apparently “this little magic trick” upset a few people, the few who pointed out that it was creepy were accused of, “white knighting more than usual.” Really sad that by saying, “hey, it’s gross to touch a woman’s boobs without asking” one gets insulted.
There are so many things problematic with this “method” without even reading the comments that support it, like “this is a surprisingly effective move” and “Fuck the negative comments…This type of kino isn’t bad especially when girls on the dance floor are grinding the shit out of your junk with their ass” I’ll just list them.
1. It suggests that women have boobs solely for guys to touch. That because we have them, and we’re in public, they’re yours for “accidental” touching.
2. What if women “accidentally” grazed a guy’s dong? (Yes, I say dong.) Go ahead dudes, joke that you’d love it, but I don’t think you would. I think you’d feel embarrassed. Which brings me to #3.
3. “You’ll be surprised by how many girls let you keep it [your hand] there [on her boobs].” Wanna know why she’s “letting” you “keep it there”? She’s embarrassed. She’s embarrassed for you, and she’s embarrassed for herself. She wants to believe that it was an accident, because everyone wants to believe that no one is purposefully creepy and weird, and she feels embarrassed that you did that and she’s actually trying to save you humiliation. Then, when you’re not moving it, she’s wondering, “Okay, wait, is this on purpose? Oh God, what do I do?” Because, you see, as much as women would like to rightly tell you off, a lot of women are still too scared to do so, because we’re ingrained to be polite, and also, we’re afraid you’re going to flip out and hurt us. (“We” is shorthand. Not every woman has these fears, the same as not every man believes this is an effective way to hit on women.) Guys, you may not understand this. You may say, “Bullshit, if you don’t like it, just say so.” It’s not always that easy. If you’re a woman, it is very likely that at some point in your life, you’ve been catcalled/harassed on the street or had some guy get in your face and call you a bitch (or worse) for not wanting to give him your phone number. And sometimes, we just get so tired. We’re so tired of having to deal with this shit. It’s 2013.
4. This tip further suggests that if we do not fancy your public groping, it’s because we’re high maintenance and not worthy of your attention. It’s almost as though we shouldn’t be offended when you touch us. That maybe we should even offer a friendly boob grab upon meeting.
5. And finally, the last terrible thing about this advice is that it gives you permission not only to do this but to not be embarrassed when a woman calls you out for putting your hand on her breast, in public, without asking. Yeah, whoops, our bad. Sorry, guys!
To any men who read this “kino” technique and think it’s good: it isn’t. Is that to say that some woman out there wouldn’t love this? No. Is she a bad woman for liking this? No. I am saying that the majority of women would not appreciate this, at all, and it’s not worth being branded a creep in trying to find out. Because you will be. You will be known as “that creep who touched my boob at the bar” by the woman you touched, and all the friends she told. And believe me, she will tell her friends.
Photo credit: Loomis Dean for LIFE via LIFE photo archives for Google
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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