Happy Birthday to ME!
Just in time for my **holysh**t!!** 29th birthday today, McSweeney’s has published “An Open Letter to People Who Judge My Single, Post-College Lifestyle” - thereby validating many of my (and quite possibly your) recent life decisions. Thanks guys! This will help me sleep better during my first night as a 29-year-old.
If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, then whether it’s your birthday or not, this letter is for you:
“Why can I no longer have conversations with people in relationships that don’t involve being interrupted by an inanimate object, like a pair of their boyfriend’s underwear or a barking mammal?”
“Why does everyone think singles are chock full of single-person stories?”
“Does you giving up your sexual choices mean that I need to abandon my own?”
“Why do I have to make plans with you four weeks in advance?”
“Does Bed, Bath and Beyond really require a 16-month pre-registration?”
I like to think that, someday soon, the decision to remain unattached and focus on having fun, cultivating connections and exploring your options (for now, at least!) will be universally accepted with the same pleasant smile and understanding head nod as the decision to enter into a two-person, monogamous relationship. But until then, let’s keep these open letters coming. Because lifestyle choices come in any and all shapes and sizes, right? And happiness can be found within pretty much all of them?
For this, my upcoming 29th year, I vow to stop judging others’ romantic lifestyles, and stop allowing it to affect me when they judge mine. The more time we all spend rolling our eyes and sighing in pity at others’ romantic choices, the less time we spend creating the relationships and connections and lives that WE want. This is the post-dating world. Anything goes. So with that, let’s all adopt the perspective that you can do you, I’ll do me, and then sometimes we should just get together to laugh about all of it.
Sound good? If you’re with me, then consider yourself virtually high-fived! And now, I’m going to begin my birthday celebrations by stealing this author’s idea and standing naked in my kitchen, by myself, dipping french bread into a mug full of olive oil.
(Actually, I am currently at my engaged friend’s house in Austin, Texas – so in fact, I’ll be standing naked in her kitchen, dipping her french bread into a mug full of her olive oil. But even though she’s engaged, she won’t be judging me. See? Acceptance! It’s possible!)
McSweeney’s: An Open Letter to People Who Judge My Single, Post-College Lifestyle
Jess is the co-creator of Dating & Hookup, alongside her childhood best friend Becky Lynch, and is the author of the book - yep! - Dating & Hookup. She never tires of hearing your post-dating stories. She wants you to enjoy your love life, and is full of advice on how to do so.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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