I met Eddie at a bar in Hollywood during the final Celtics vs. Lakers game. I was certainly not at my best, though I rarely am when watching basketball. It’s probably the only time that I am not man hunting. Instead, I am watching the game and cannot be disturbed aside from the occasional shit talking or celebratory high five.

Through all the cheering and shot taking, I couldn’t help but notice Eddie pull up on his motorcycle outside of the bar. He was tall, extremely muscular, and had this ashy blond hair… and he was covered in tattoos. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I was wearing sweat pants with “Lakers” written across the legs, a gold tank top, a purple zip-up sweatshirt and obnoxious Laker flip flops that I purchased during the finals the year before. Not exactly the epitome of sexy.

However, I wasn’t about to let this guy go. He was quite possibly the most beautiful man that I had ever set eyes on. I decided to give it a shot, so as he was dismounting, I went outside for a cigarette. When I saw him up close, all I could think of was “Oh my God, it’s Jordan Catalano,” (yes, that’s a My So Called Life reference youngsters).

We struck up a conversation (yes men, it’s that easy) and I gave him my number. I didn’t really think he would use it, but to my surprise, I received a call from him three days later. He told me that when I walked away, he became mesmerized by my ass and had been thinking about it for days. He asked if I was busy and suggested I come over. A casual encounter? Ok! I laughed and told him that my place was probably a lot nicer than his and suggested that he come to me. To my surprise, he called my bluff and said “I don’t think so. Just come over.”

I had a problem. I already had a date that night. I was supposed to meet this guy at his studio near my place around nine. I told Eddie that I had made dinner plans with a friend and could only stop by for a minute to say hi. He gave me his address and told me to wear a dress.

We got to his place at exactly the same time. I approached his building and Eddie walked around the corner to meet me. As I followed him up his steps, I couldn’t help but notice that his building looked exactly like one of those New York brownstones, except we were clearly smack dab in the middle of east Los Angeles. It was beautiful.

He opened the door and I was shocked. His apartment looked like something straight from the front page of Architectural Digest. Most of his furniture was white, Danish modern, and incredibly expensive looking. Scattered about were subtle accents of lime green… a chair, a throw pillow, a rug. He had a total of three paintings on the wall which were all originals and all large and impressive. I was in a “man’s” home, not a boy’s. I suddenly realized that Eddie was a much more successful graphic designer than I gave him credit for.

The sexual tension could be cut with a knife. Eddie followed me around his house as he talked and gave me the general tour. I was indeed wearing a dress, per his request, and a pair of 5 inch heels. Mr. Gorgeous was noticeably pleased. Even at my ridiculous height, Eddie towered over me, and soon it became very obvious that this man had an ass fetish.

We walked back into the living room after seeing his entire house, not apartment, and Eddie grabbed my face and began to kiss me. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was a hot, carnal, erotic, I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off kind of kiss. He moved to my neck and I started to feel his hands go under my dress. His hands were large and strong and I felt them squeeze my ass hard and pull my underwear at the same time. I pulled away. “I can’t have sex with you. I can’t ruin my makeup!”

He laughed and said “saving yourself for another guy huh?” He grabbed me hard by my waist and turned me around. He unbuckled his pants and lifted up my dress. Hot. I was wearing black lace panties and he moved them to the side as he continued to squeeze my ass. He got on his knees and began kissing the back of my thighs. They were rough, wet kisses, and I felt them move up my thighs to the bottom of my butt. As I am standing there, helpless, in the highest heels I own, I felt his head move between my legs. His tongue was inching towards my pussy. Holy mother fucking shit there is no better feeling in the world.

Then I remembered that I was not going to have sex. Not tonight. Not when I knew I could stay approximately 10 more minutes, and that’s too casual, even by my standards. This was my first time really meeting this guy and at the very least I wanted an hour with him. I stepped back and watched my dress sweep across Eddie’s face.

“I told you, I can’t. I have to leave.” By now his pants were half way down, and I could see his gigantic penis pulsing through his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I wanted to kill myself. I can’t believe I double booked and would have to turn down this amazing piece of man. Why didn’t I just cancel? He sat on his sofa and grabbed his dick over his boxers.

“Well, if you can’t play with me, at least give me a show. Take off your dress so I can touch myself while I look at your body.” Because of the way he said it and the tone of his voice, I actually considered it for a moment. But I declined and began heading for the door, swearing up and down that I would come over again soon.

“Ok Sticky. One more kiss.” One more? What harm would that do? I turned around to kiss him one more time. All of the sudden he picked me up, wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed me up against his door. Typically I hate being picked up. I am not a tiny girl and it just bothers me. But Eddie was a big guy and he threw me around like I was a ninety pound teenager. He proceeded to push his cock in between my legs, rubbing it against my clit through my panties. My arms were around his neck and my ass was against the door. I had absolutely no control. I was trapped and Eddie was aggressive. I love aggressive. I love men who don’t take no for an answer (If I am in fact interested in them) and I wanted him inside me more than anything. Finally I escaped before completely ruining my attire, so wet that my panties were literally drenched.

Sunday rolled around and I got a text from Eddie. “Hey you. Come over.” My heart skipped a beat and I quickly threw on another dress (ready for Eddie to take advantage of my assets) and sped out the door. When I arrived at his place and rang the doorbell, I heard a faint “come in” from inside the house. The door was unlocked so I let myself in. “I’m in the shower, be out in a minute.” As I slowly made my way down the hall, Eddie greeted me in nothing but a towel.

“Hey. Come this way.” He grabbed my hand and led me into his bedroom. He took my boots off one at a time. “Put one leg up on the bed.” I obliged and he lifted up my way-too-short-to-begin-with skirt, which resulted in my legs being spread open, which from behind meant my ass was completely exposed. He slipped two fingers under my g-string and followed my crack from the top of my ass down to my clit. Then he placed the same two fingers inside me. I turned around to look at him. His eyes were fixed on my rear and he was biting his tongue, just a little bit.

Finally I was ready to go for it. I got completely onto the bed and pulled off the towel which was hiding Mr. Gorgeous’ goodies. I was not at all prepared for what I saw. It was the longest, thickest, most gigantic penis I had ever seen. I couldn’t help but just stare at it for a moment. “There is no fucking way that will ever fit inside me,” I thought to myself. This had never happened to me before.

Not one to walk away from a challenge, I decided to test him out with my mouth. Could it be that this super penis was just an optical illusion? I put my mouth around his cock and soon realized that yes, Eddie was indeed “that big.” I have a really large mouth and 99% of the time I can make a man’s dick disappear down my throat… but this penis was huge! Not only could I not fit more than four inches of his Pringle’s can in my mouth, I had to use 2 fucking hands! Two!

I was about to second guess my oral sex capabilities when I heard a little moan escape Eddie’s lips. With my mouth and two hands still happily at work, I glanced up at him. He mouth was wide open and he was pinching his nipple. “This is the best head I have ever gotten.” Score!

I was crouched on my knees and after a couple minutes, Eddie lightly pushed me down on my back and inserted his penis into my mouth from above. I like this position because it allows me to watch the man I’m with from a convenient angle.

For a moment Eddie took his dick out of my mouth, leaned down and kissed me. “You have the most beautiful face,” he said, a tad surprised. It was as though he was just now looking at something other than my body.

“Oh, you think I’m pretty? That’s great. Now cum on my face.” What can I say, I like what I like. I finished him off and he made a mess all over me. He collapsed on the bed and I giggled on my way to the bathroom to clean up. I threw my clothes on, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and bolted.

Eddie was so incredible for my ego, but finally I had to let him go. As I said, he really was the most beautiful man I had ever seen in person. Way out of my league. However, his penis was way out of my league too. I felt as though sleeping with him would have utterly destroyed my pussy. And it’s not like we’d ever date… he was the quintessential non-monogamist playboy. Beautiful, talented, successful, and an eye for decor? Danger. He has tried relentlessly to see me again. I receive a text message from him with an invitation to come over almost every weekend. I always strongly consider it, then say I have other plans.

The fact of the matter is, it could never work between us, not even as fuck buddies. I like sex, not torture. In the words of Samantha Jones “I want one that’s just right.” If you have a thing for horse cocks, I will happily give you his number.