Mad Men time again! Liveblog time again.
The show opens on Don and Pete having a secret ketchup meeting!!! They’re in Pete’s bro apartment, and the ketchup guy is also the worst because when he leaves, he takes off his wedding ring and says he’s gonna go party in the city. Also, Pete’s hairline is terrible. I think it’s actually getting worse as this season goes on, which is really darkly tragic for Pete. But also, he’s a total douchebag, so I’m totally pleased about it.
Don’s secretary Dawn and her pal go out to a diner and talk about how she’ll never meet anyone at work. She basically ends up saying every guy there is crazy, and it’s interesting to see her take on the office finally. Plus, it was nice to see her talking to someone not from the office.
Finally we get to see some Joooan. Her mom is being stupid and annoying as usual. Joan’s Mary-Kay friend, Kate, is at her house giving her mom a makeover, and her mom seems pretty pleased to talk about Joan being a partner at the firm. Joan doesn’t seem sad about her status as partner being brought up, but I feel like this is going to pop up again later.
Don is going upstairs and his neighbor pops into the elevator real quick to make out with him. Nice. Great Don.
Stan is going into a private room at SCDP and everyone else is NOSY. Turns out he’s working on the secret ketchup account in there. Now Don pops in and him and Stan are smoking pot together and working on the secret ketchup account. Don is like, “Hot dogs are for mustard!” and Stan is like, “NAH, DUDE. SQUIGGLY LINE OF KETCHUP!” And then “We need lunch.” And they laugh because they’re high and pot.
Megan is in a maid outfit and chillin’ with her coworkers (co-actors). She finds out she’s going to have a cool love scene with her co-star Rafe. Megan’s boss is like “I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR HUBBY FIRST ABOUT THIS LOVE SCENE” and poor Megan is all worried about Don being upset about her fake love scene because 1) he is the worst and 2) he is the worst. Also, the ’60s.
MEGAN IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME SO SAD THIS EPISODE (AGAIN). When Don comes home from work, she takes his coat and she’s totally trying and he is like, Mr. Cold and Collected. She’s trying to tell him about the love scene and that it’s just “kissing and hugging” and Don is being a BUTTHOLE. HE’S SAYING HE NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT IT. God, Don. Why must you exert control over everything in your life? I am so depressed that he’s having an actual affair with someone and is still able to be outraged when his wife needs to have a fake affair for work. Poor, sweet Megan.
Now Kenny and crew are talking about doing a Joe Namath Broadway musical? I don’t know why? It involves Dow Chemicals. Harry is really amped on all this.
Scarlet (Harry’s secretary) got Dawn to punch her timecard for her earlier and Joan found out so BOOM! Fired Scarlet, kept Dawn. Harry is getting involved now and is dramatically trying to keep Scarlet, even though Joan is like, “This doesn’t concern you.” Harry gets so bent out of shape that he runs into a partners meeting and says that he deserves to be in them because he’s doing this sweet Joe Namath musical (still don’t get it) and that his accomplishments “happened in the daytime” unlike Joan’s. Fuck you, Harry. MAYBE DON’T MAKE WORK ENVIRONMENTS SUCH A HOSTILE PLACE FOR WOMEN.
Joan and her friend Kate go out to a restaurant with really cool phones on the table!!! They’re trying to let loose and have a little fun. Kate ends up having their waiter call the phone. I don’t really understand why the phones are there, but I wish that still existed because how fun.
Don and Megan are out to eat with her bosses and they’re talking about having the sexy love scene on the show. They’re saying that soap opera love scenes are a little more intense because it’s housewives at home watching. Don is all “I’M BORING,” as usual. And the dude boss is now offering to go smoke some grass. L O L. OH SHIT, AND THEY’RE ALSO PROPOSING A FOURSOME OR SOMETHING! PERFECT. LOL MEGAN AND DON ARE TRYING TO GRACEFULLY BOW OUT AND THESE PEOPLE AREN’T TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER. Whatever, if I was a swinger in the ’60s, I’d try to get them to hang, too.
Joan and Kate are now out with the dude from the restaurant and kissin’ in the backseat. He’s really bad at pick-up lines because he straight up says “LET’S SEE WHO IS BETTER AT KISSING!” Smooth. But it works. They end up at The Electric Club. Kate makes out with the waiter dude, while Joan ends up making out with one of waiter dude’s friends, although she seems super reluctant. Joan just doesn’t seem to fit in at a groovy ’60s club.
Don and Megan are saying goodbye to each other before work and Don is like, “GOOD LUCK!” and then kisses her better than he has all season because of course he only cares about her when someone else gets to touch her.
Joan and Kate are super hungover after their big outing. Kate ends up telling Joan that she’s so jealous of her partner position because it sounds great, and Joan tries to tell her that it’s just a title and that she’s been there 15 years, but they still treat her like a secretary. Kate is obviously still impressed, but Joan is trying to downplay the whole thing.
Finally, SCDP get to do this goddamn ketchup pitch. They’re at some special ketchup meeting spot. Their ads are pretty good, but the ketchup dude doesn’t seem too sold on them. When SCDP leaves the room, PEGGY IS OUTSIDE AND SHE’S GONNA BE DOING THE KETCHUP PITCH NEXT! NICE. Don tells the other SCDP guys to meet him by the elevator, and he creeps outside the door to listen to Peggy’s pitch because he’s totes nervous.
Joan finally goes into work after being hungover and Dawn comes in to apologize for punching the other girl’s timecard. Joan gives her the keys to the supply cabinet and timecards. Dawn is shocked and says thanks to Joan because it’s sort of a big responsibility, and Joan tells her it’s a punishment. Probably because of how much work she’s going to do and how little respect she’ll get for it. But then Dawn is like “I don’t care if everyone hates me as long as you don’t.” Which is exactly how I would feel about Joanie, too, bb.
The SCDP guys all go to a bar and seem kind of dejected and then Peggy’s team walks in and they say they got ketchup. Don’s pissed. And then Kenny walks in (I guess this bar is right by EVERYTHING) and says that Heinz Bean Guy found out about the pitch, and he’s not even giving them 90 days. Don is like OH SHIT. And then Kenny makes a snide remark about company loyalty because Don just went all over the place with the secret ketchup meetings. Sucks for you, Don.
Megan and Rafe are doing their sexy love scene, and Don decided to creep all up on that, too. When it’s over and Megan sees him, she seems kind of terrified. Don flips out on her in her dressing room and is like, “YOU GET PAID TO KISS PEOPLE!” and that pesky prostitution theme is back in full force. Don leaves in a huff because he’s a nightmare. And then of course he goes and has sex with his neighbor, because he is just a robot at this point, I think. He tells her to take off her cross necklace and asks her what she prays for. She says him. He says, “You pray for me to come back?” (LOL, WAY TO BE COCKY, IDIOT.) And then she says, “No. I pray for you to find peace.” And then Don sort of closes his eyes and smooshes his face into her hand for a minute and I almost feel bad for him because he obviously has a compulsion to be shitty, but sorry, it’s season 6, it’s too late for you, buddy.
That’s basically the end. And now I’m convinced that Don is going to murder someone for real this season, because I feel like he’s losing his marbles.
Katie is a 25-year-old blogger who lives in Philadelphia, PA. In her free time you can usually find her sobbing over mid-'90s teenage dramas or writing for Winebibber.wordpress.com. Add her on Twitter @KTGL.
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