We desire, the way a twice-poisoned dog eyes a third piece of meat.
I’ve always loved this simple, little poem. It’s a perfectly distilled thought, and so true. This website is proof – we’ve all been there! Chasing (or just Facebook stalking) the guys we know we shouldn’t want. Giving that Guy Who Just Blew You Off a second chance…and a third…and fourth…and a seventh… Rationalizing, justifying, excusing and forgiving a guy’s unworthy behavior in the name love.
Yesterday I got a beautiful tattoo (<3 to Joe Mags at BK Ink!) So in the spirit of pleasurable pain, I thought we could delve into the tempestuous love universe of my favorite poetess, Gaspara Stampa.
We’ve spent a lot of time on this site talking about romantic confusion and ambiguity – and wondering why an optimistic and empowered generation like ours can have love lives that are so fucked up. I’m all for figuring this out. I think imposing order on the chaos and talking about the post-dating world really helps us understand what’s going on. And when I look at my dah, I can see how my relationships with these guys (and these guys, and these guys and these guys…ok, fine, I have a Guy Who Just Blew Me Off – or 7) fulfill different parts of myself and help me to realize and understand my own complexity.
Not sure what’s going on with our readers in other parts of the country (I was in LA this week and it was freezing. Thanks guys.) But in New York it’s (finally!) a heavenly, gorgeous, warm, delightful day. There’s nothing like a little sunshine to make a girl crave romance, passion, and a long walk (or volleyball!) on the beach. Oh, and love poetry by The Bard himself.
Love is not all: It is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain,
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
and rise and sink and rise and sink again.
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour;
pinned down by need and moaning for release
or nagged by want past resolution’s power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.
–Edna St. Vincent Millay
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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