Strongarm makes the point in his Guide to a Successful Relationship that you should always want to be with your girlfriend / boyfriend / life partner / husband / wife. In fact, it’s Rule #2: “You MUST always want to hang with her/him.”
Is it delusional to think you could ALWAYS want to be spending time with one person? That you would ALWAYS “REALLY want to hang out with them the majority of the time”?
Meanwhile, however, I was blasting him by making the argument that “none of us should settle for anything less than true, deep, loving understanding of our life partner.” I was declaring that in strong relationships, we may follow SxAxG’s Rules, but only “because we can’t help it…because the love is real.”
Is it just me, or are SAG and I essentially aspiring to the same kind of love? We’re somehow speaking different languages, but our sense of ultimate, strong commitment feels the same.
It’s times like these that I turn to reading poetry to try and discover the essence of what I may be feeling. Sure enough, ee cummings brings it hard.
In this gorgeous incantation, the meandering, sing-song phrases evoke the whimsy of falling in love, while the powerful declarations – “i fear / no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)” – cry out commitment in full force. Who wouldn’t desire and yearn to carry, to hold, to treasure this kind of love?
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
So there you have it. Even in the midst of a lover’s quarrel, or when he / she is bugging you (as inevitably happens from time to time), you still carry them with you. And that’s love. It’s not a matter of words. For real. It’s a matter of the heart.
Rebecca Coale - aka Becky - is a writer, musician and producer. She and childhood best friend Jessica Donalds created Dating & Hookup and founded J&R Creative Media. Becky blogs about love poetry and modern life & womanhood. She lives with her husband, Howard Coale, and their family in Manhattan and Philadelphia.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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