Kate Middleton, as hip and young a royal as we’ve seen, is still abiding by some old traditions regarding her birth plan. NY Mag, via the Telegraph, gave us some info about her birth plans. For example, Middleton wants to have a “natural birth”, meaning that she would like to avoid having a cesarean section. Because I guess a cesarean section isn’t natural? Does the term “natural birth” bother anyone else? Is birth not natural all by itself? For even happening?
Anyway. Kate and William (ha! There he is!) do not know what the sex of their baby is, because they opted to be surprised. Prince William gets 2 weeks paternity leave (so modern!). And they will announce the birth of their baby via…parchment. No, really. From NY Mag:
No information about the birth will be shared until an aide is dispatched from the hospital with the baby’s sex, weight, and time of birth written on a piece of paper. Said paper will be hand-delivered to a driver, who will then take it to Buckingham Palace, where it will be placed on an easel for the public to see.
A piece of paper. On an easel.
When the palace is ready, they’ll post the information on their official twitter account. But not until after the paper has been respected. I guess this is the part where we all say how refreshing it is to hear news “the old fashioned way” and how social media makes things really “impersonal.” Yeah, it’s fine, whatever. Let them Martin Luther that shit up, Ninety-Five Theses style.
And here’s another throwback.
No announcements will be made until the Middletons, the queen, and other “senior” members of the royal family have been notified. What’s more, if the queen happens to be asleep (say, if the birth occurs in the middle of the night or during her pre-tea naptime), then too bad for all of us: According to custom, the news will have to wait until she rises of her own accord.
“Grandmum, I’m going into labor!” “And I’m going into bed. To sleep. Do not wake me. We will discuss this tomorrow. After the easel-staring.” Yes, I know that’s not exactly how it’s going down, but wouldn’t it seem odd, maybe even a little mean and hurtful, if your grandmother chose her pre-tea naptime over you giving birth?
But these are their traditions. The thing about traditions is that they get old, and at a certain point, their antiquity makes them seem bizarre. It’s interesting which traditions any culture decides to hold on to. Kate, we’ll give you your hospital but we’re taking your Internet. (Yes, yes, I know that’s not what’s going on, I know I’m exaggerating. Exaggerating is one of my traditions.) I wish Kate Middleton the best of luck and the easiest of births.
Does your family have any “birth” traditions? And did you or your wife/partner have a birth “plan”?
Meme from WhatYearIsIt.Info
British Royals at the Trooping the Colour by PacificCoastNews.com via Zimbio.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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