I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for in a man, but there’s one thing I simply can’t tolerate. It’s more of a current phenomenon, one I can’t wrap my mind around and absolutely won’t put up with.
Gentlemen, please quit talking about man caves.
This trend is everywhere: house-hunting shows on television, portrayals in movies, articles in magazines. Suddenly, grown men seem to require their own space. It’s as if men have failed to outgrow the necessity of the treehouses, forts and bachelor pads of their youth. Is it so wrong for me to believe that once a man moves in with his wife/girlfriend/partner, the assumption that he gets his own room should fall by the wayside? Isn’t that the point of growing up?
I guess in my old-timey ideals, I envisioned the following scenario: A couple gets married—or at the very least decides to be in a long-term, monogamous relationship—and they move in together. By agreeing to live together, it is assumed that these two adults will consider the home or apartment to be theirs. Not his, not hers, but theirs. Every room is a shared space.
But it seems that somewhere along the line, the dudes of the world got together and said, “Wait, what? Share an entire home with some chick? Eff that noise!” Guys suddenly decided that even though their fathers may have had a favorite armchair in the den while they were growing up, a single piece of furniture could no longer provide the privacy that today’s modern man requires.
And so, I suppose, the idea of the man cave was born. A place for a presumably grown-up man to call his own. Man caves seem to be decorated with large leather furniture, even larger televisions, and perhaps a crappy dartboard nobody will ever use. And from what I gather, the cave’s primary purpose is to shield the man from the oppressiveness of living with another person. Another person that HE CHOSE TO LIVE WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As an introvert who values alone time, I would never advocate against personal space. What bothers me about the man cave trend isn’t a man’s need for a space in which he can be alone for a minute; it’s the idea that men need their own room specifically for this one purpose. It’s selfish and juvenile. (Hey, those are two things I’m not looking for in a man!)
So please, gentlemen, grow up. Quit requesting man caves. You need privacy? Go to the garage or something, like your fathers did when you were young. Or go to the living room and pretend it’s a cave. Throw in a stalactite or two even, I don’t care. Just please learn to work with what you’ve got.
(And ladies, don’t even think about requesting scrapbooking rooms. You bring us all down with that nonsense.)
Thank you, NeilsPhotography, for the image!
Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of trees, baseball, running, and pop culture.
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