Ain’t it the truth?
Hard as it is to be unattractive, what with making less money, getting passed over for promotions, and not getting laid as much, let’s take a moment to acknowledge that it’s hard being hot as well.
Check out the sobfest (which, OK, is actually pretty thoughtful) at Reddit prompted by this question:
I know its a weird question, but what is it like to be a hot girl? <submitted 1 day ago by p0ss> As a pudgy 28 year old guy I have no clue as to what it might be like, I mean, do people treat you differently? What kinds of problems do you face? Are there things you experience that others don’t? It just seems like there is an alternate parallel universe they exist in. I tried asking my partner, but she said she’d never known any different. I know there are tv shows about ditsy hot chicks, but there aren’t any about intelligent hot chicks, so anyone care to enlighten me?
In response, this unidentified Hot Girl tells it like it (apparently) is…
Do people treat you differently? Yes, they treat me like they want to fuck me. It’s okay. Sometimes it grosses me out. Sometimes it is flattering. I know this is horrible but I get offended if a guy DOESN’T check me out. It’s all just a game of biology, and I’m a good specimen for breeding.
What kind of problems do you face? You face people giving you attention you don’t want. That sounds like no big deal unless you realize that about half the human population has weird relationship/personal space issues and it means that men make weird comments, even your relatives and your friends. It means that you’re never allowed to forget what you look like, and that it is important that you do not change. The first words out of my dad’s mouth when I see him are whether or not I look like I’ve been working out daily.
Intelligent hot chicks, and if they exist- They do. But they’ve learned to hide it. People will hate you for being attractive, unless they feel they are smarter than you. Then they feel better because they have a reason to look down on you. If you let on that you can compete mentally, then they really dislike you, to the point of pure mean-girl sort of stuff. Sometimes, if you do try to contribute on any level, people dismiss you immediately. Or they decide they want to try to fuck you more than before…
It lets you have very unhealthy romantic relationships. It’s easy to ignore all other aspects and base it only off how you look. It’s easy to not learn how to be a good person, or how to treat people the right way. It’s easy to end up alone. It’s easy to expect help from strangers for no reason. But dealing with rejection, if these things don’t happen the way you want them to, is really, really hard. I guess it’s just hard to face reality when you are used to not having to…
Now, as Jess can confirm, I’m usually the first to agree that…I would do me. I’ve always felt like I’m pretty hot. I rarely/never regard myself as “the hottest girl” in a room, but I also rarely/never doubt my essential attractiveness. Lest I sound too obnoxious, let me quickly say that Jess can also confirm that I collect Guys Who Just Blew Me Off. My dah is full of them! I get rejected…a lot.
I’ve always felt that if a guy isn’t into me, then it’s not a referendum on my overall looks. Why let the opinions of others shake my confidence? Emphasize the positive! My hips look great in these jeans. So I might as well see if that cute guy is interested. If not, not.
But is it true that hotness can be a liability?
Are those of us who look hot (or just think we look hot) setting ourselves up for alienation and disillusionment? Do we take for granted attention and respect that others have to strive for? Are we stifled and unrealized because we’ve never been challenged and tested? Do we think it’s all about “confidence” when really we’ve known nothing but fawning adoration? Are we sitting pretty, born on third base, thinking we hit a triple? Fuck us?
Based on the Reddit chain, I think we have to say that these anxieties are real. I still find it hard to fathom. But maybe I’m not hot enough to know.
More WTF?! on Hotness
If He’s Talking To You, Then He’s Attracted to Youby Jess (in The Huffington Post)
An Ode to Ugly Guys by Jess
Doing Don Draper While He’s Downby Becky
Rebecca Coale - aka Becky - is a writer, musician and producer. She and childhood best friend Jessica Donalds created Dating & Hookup and founded J&R Creative Media. Becky blogs about love poetry and modern life & womanhood. She lives with her husband, Howard Coale, and their family in Manhattan and Philadelphia.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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