Can I tell you something? It’s okay to not want kids.
No, really. It is. I promise. Your mom may not think that’s okay. Your friends may not think it’s okay. But I’m here to tell you that it is okay. It is very much okay.
It isn’t that I dislike children or anything like that. Some children are very lovely. I just know that I don’t want kids. My mom is aghast. She frequently asks me if I’ve changed my mind. I know she’s hoping that one day I will tell her, “Yes, I have absolutely changed my mind, I want children, lots of them, and very soon.” But that’s not going to happen.
And that’s okay. Even though I’m in my ’20s and am still “very young” (I’ve been told), in fact, “too young” to decide I don’t want kids, I know that I’m very comfortable with my decision not to procreate. You can be “very young” and know that you don’t want children. That’s perfectly okay.
Why is it okay?
Because not everyone has to experience what it’s like to be a parent. Some people would rather experience what it’s like to be an aunt, or a Godmother, or nothing at all.
Because some people would rather focus on living their own lives, and growing into the best possible versions of themselves that they can be, and this version doesn’t include children.
Because being a mother is something that maybe society is forcing you to be, instead of something you want to be.
Because you’re allowed to make your own decisions.
It’s insane how often I have to defend my decision not to have kids. People act like I’m personally offending them when I tell them I don’t want kids. First of all, it’s really none of their business whether I want them or not. Secondly, my decision should have nothing to do with them or their feelings, but people take my decision very personally. I don’t know why. But they do.
I guess maybe they think I’m judging them? But I’m not, really. I’ve just decided, that for me, the decision to have children is not a desirable one. And that’s okay.
It’s okay for you, too. Don’t let anyone else tell you how you should or shouldn’t live your life. Everyone is on their own path. Don’t let your path be compared to anyone else’s.
We’re all gonna be okay, whether we have kids or not. I promise. It may not seem like it right now, but we’re gonna be fine.
It’s okay not to want kids. And it’s okay if you do. As long as it’s your decision, it’s all okay.
Photo by Peggy2012CREATIVELENZ via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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