A recent article in Christianity Today discusses a growing number of single Christian women who may be [sinfully?] “dating” Jesus Christ and hence, running the danger of not opening themselves up emotionally to real human beings — aka potential partners. Hmm. Interesting. Naturally, it propelled me to examine my own walk in this rather complex 21st century post-dating world.
I can’t deny that the write up is squarely describing someone like me. I’m a self-sufficient woman who is finding satisfaction and contentment in the season that God has me in at this time — among many things, that includes being single.
But wait, let me repeat that because I don’t want you to miss an important point — I’m finding satisfaction in the season of life I’m in — and among many things, that includes being single. I draw attention to that particular point because I believe that our marital status doesn’t (and shouldn’t) be the sole defining factor of our lives. And I find that society sometimes puts a tad bit too much emphasis on whether someone is married or single. Without fail, it is always a top question during dinners with friends and family get-togethers. Are you dating anyone?
Don’t get it twisted. I’m not averse to or afraid of intimacy but I hate to think my existence is defined by whether or not I show up to weddings with a handsome date. And to be fair, I do have dahs in my life who willingly help me with the “manly” tasks (yes, they are put to use!). Getting married is important — as a matter of fact, it’s central to our existence — but it shouldn’t be the end all be all. Considering it as such can lead you to even worse misery. The risk of what Courtney describes as “self-marriage” is the danger of settling for the wrong person. Imagine sharing the same bed with someone you can’t stand everyday? I’d prefer to wake up to no one, thank you. As the number one advice I get from married people all the time, it’s better to be happily single than unhappily married.
Yes, I’m in my 30’s. And I’m single. But being single is just one aspect of me. What about the fact that I’m an avid photographer (Okay, more like wannabe). I like to run. I love to write. I get all giddy getting stupid silly with the Xbox Kinect. I enjoy serving in church ministries. And heck, I find the company of myself, dare I say, even kind of fun and exciting (no judging!). All of that stuff make me happy. That’s reality. And as odd as this may sound, the simplicity of my life today (let’s face it, bf/gf relationships can suck the energy out of us!) is enabling me to have the kind of joy that I never quite experienced in my 12 years of being in a series of multiple years-long romantic relationships.
Let me be clear, I want to be married someday — even soon. Courtney is spot on in suggesting that we shouldn’t ignore the longing we feel for a partner. As a matter of fact, the desire in itself is a clear signal that a nuptial is in your cards according to the Bible. I am no different from many people — I too have aspirations to meet my lifelong mate so that I can enjoy a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with him while I veg out on the couch in his arms. But going out and looking for my husband isn’t a top priority. Why? Because it’s more important for me to focus on becoming the woman God wants me to be – and that means becoming a better “me” so that I can maintain long lasting relationships, be it as a wife, friend, daughter, colleague, neighbor…(you get my point). And while I’m in my day-to-day, normal setting being plain ‘ole “me,” call me hopeful, but I’d like to believe that the right one will pay heed. And even better, he will do so for all the right reasons.
So while my handsome prince charming tries to make his way to me — hopefully galloping in his white stallion through a windy desert (I know, I watch too many Disney movies), I’m going to do my thang and enjoy every minute of it. In the meantime, Jesus shall remain my main squeeze (aka boyfriend, as Courtney put it). Do I think that’s “trivializing” my relationship with Him? No. Because He’s that and more to me. He’s my Best Friend, my Teacher, my many dahs in One and most importantly, my Personal Savior. Perhaps more accurately, He is my Jesus of all Trades.
Thanks for the photo, aviachar!
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