We’ve heard that honesty is the best policy, especially where relationships are concerned. Dr. Phil would have a heart attack if I suggested that perhaps sometimes a gentle lie is the best way to go. Well, maybe. I’m still not sure.
Here 3 examples of little lies that can pop up in relationships:
1. Let’s say your significant other got a really terrible haircut, but they absolutely love it. Should you tell them what you really think?
2. Or what if they’re really close with their mom, and you absolutely can’t stand their mom, but you don’t want to cause a war, so you pretend you like her. Is that a lie?
3. Or let’s say that you’re thinking about changing jobs, and you got an interview, but you don’t want to say anything until you know if you got the job or not, so you don’t say anything about it. Is that a lie?
What would you do in these three examples? Personally, I would never come between my partner and their mom; that’s a battle I don’t want to fight. So I would keep the peace, even if I didn’t like her. In the second one, if they really loved their hair, I wouldn’t say anything negative, because why hurt them? For the third one, I’m really torn. I guess it’s important to share big life changes with your partner — if the new job was in another state, I’d definitely tell them — but if it wouldn’t affect them, I guess I’d rather not say anything until I knew for sure about the job.
But what do you think? Is it ever okay to lie in relationships?
We all know that lying is bad. It breeds mistrust. No one likes being lied to, right? Is that always true? For example, if I gained weight, I wouldn’t want to be told, “You look like you’ve gained weight.” I would maybe even prefer being told the opposite, although I may get annoyed by that. Which makes me wonder, can anyone win when it comes to lying, even little lies?
Because the problem with little lies is that they have a way of getting bigger. You tell one lie, you usually have to tell another lie to make the lie hold up. And before you realize what you’re doing, you’ve told lots and lots of little lies and when you do that, it’s basically equal to one big lie.
What’s your stance on honesty and relationships? Are you always 100% truthful?
Photo by Nickolas Murray via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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