Beyoncé and Jay-Z had a daughter named Blue Ivy Carter. If you didn’t know this, I’d like to hear more about this bomb shelter you live in. How’s your food supply? Is it comfortable? Do you have room for me?
Bey and Jay have spared no expense in raising their daughter. I wrote over here about how they went all-out for Blue Ivy’s 1st birthday, with an elaborate birthday party and the gift of an $80,000 diamond studded Barbie doll. This is one of those stories I hope isn’t true because of how insane it is, and yet, I also hope it’s true because of how insane it is. To reference Louis C.K.’s “of course…but maybe” bit, of course it’s their money and they can spend it how they please, but maybe you shouldn’t buy your one year-old an $80k toy.
A-list celebrities and their kids are probably the closest thing we have in America to royalty. The newer the baby, the greater the reign. The Jolie-Pitt kids aren’t our princes and princesses anymore. We are witnessing the rise of baby Blue. To say that she has a charmed life doesn’t begin to cover it. Oprah is her godmother. Before she turned a year old she’s experienced things many of us may never get to, like a private helicopter ride over New York City, a vacation in St. Bart’s, and VIP status at some of the biggest concerts in the world. None of which is unusual for a major celebrity’s kid until you stop and really think about how crazy it is. These people aren’t actually royalty. They’re entertainers. That’s great. I like to be entertained. But when I think about how much they get paid for doing this, it induces such heavy eye-rolling I get headaches. And then their kids get whatever sort of career they would like just handed to them, as if they were casually shopping for their futures on Amazon.com, adding whatever they wanted to their cart.
We could do worse than Beyoncé, though. At least we’re no longer obsessed with Victoria Beckham. Beyoncé offers a lot more. And now she’s apparently our new feminist icon. She was on the cover of Ms. magazine with the headline “fierce feminism.” That’s totally fine that she calls herself a feminist. I’m amused by the fact that we have to make the idea more appealing by calling it “fierce”. If Mrs. Carter wants to be a feminist, I’m behind her. Interesting though that she told British Vogue, “I guess I’m a feminist” — why is this something you’re unsure of? I guess she figured it out before she agreed to the Ms. cover.
I hope Mr. and Mrs. Carter use their powers for good and don’t Will Smith their daughter up.
Photo from Zimbio.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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