In conversations regarding the rampant marriages of my peers lately, it is common for me to hear this (Is it wizened or bitter?) rejoinder from the older generation. “Just wait,” they laugh. “You’ll have the first wave of marriages, then the first wave of divorces, and then the second wave of marriages.”
Tonight, I take a red-eye not only back to NYC, but back to a peer group – I realize as I make plans with a bunch of couples – that is almost completely comprised of the married or co-habitating. There are a few exceptions: my almond-eyed, relief-work, never-in-one-place-for-long friend Abiol; my cerebral, artful (and slightly younger) writer-friend, Zinzi; and then at last, the few sundry ex-boyfriends-turned-buddies who, clearly, after dating me they realized they could do no better. (Um, right…)
But that’s about it. And so, as I prepare to catch up my beloved friends, as they happily buy apartments, produce babies and throw dinner parties at an ever-earlier hour, a rather horrible thought occurred to me. Who will be the first to fall?
I remind myself, of the statistics, that in my peer-group of educated, relatively affluent couples who married later than the average, divorce is less common.
Yet, I can’t help myself from playing a little bit of speculative-divorce roulette. What about couple X? Does he worry about her stumbling career? Could that uncertainty flub them up? Or, what about the husband’s tendency to drink in couple Y? And then couple Z, it’s clear both of their family histories still haunt their choices today.*
Now, the one thing I can say about all of this for certain, is that it is line of thinking is that speculative, utterly unhelpful and probably none of my business.
As is the case, when you find yourself wondering about other people’s problems, it’s most likely about you. I am perhaps, peering over the hedges, because I’ve got my own happy husband prospect chilling in the lawn chair with a beer. I can tell you this. I love that man. Losing him wouldn’t kill me, but it would come close. I love my friends. On none of us do I wish the sadness of loss.
*Friends I am just about to see, these are not specific things about any of you. Made-up examples only! You’re all wonderful! Ahhh!
Thanks, HÃ¥kan DahlstrÃ¶m, for the photo!
Alison Steedman is the editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles with her boyfriend and their histrionic cat, Charles Dickens, where she still carries on a nostalgic and long-distance love affair with her 20's in Brooklyn, NY. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @yosteedman, and you can also send her your writing at [email protected], both of which make her very happy.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
The script will play out and he’ll get her in the finish and they’ll reside happily ever just after. 11.11 atm onlyfans I have met a superb service i will be sharing my service with. Studies recommend that the degree of alcoholic intoxication straight correlates with the level of risky behavior. the dream dating There’s also this enticement that Creators can make as a lot as £30,000 a month, but not being aware of this is a extremely compact percentage of Creators that truly make such an quantity.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter