January Jones is awesome. I want to be January Jones. I don’t know why people hate her.
Okay, I kind of know why people hate her. They think she’s ungrateful. That she’s a bad actress who doesn’t deserve her job. That she’s cold. That she thinks she’s above everyone. Some don’t like her because they think she’s a slut. Maybe all of these things are true.
But maybe…just maybe…they aren’t.
And you know what? Even if they are, I don’t care. I still want to be her. My feelings only intensified after she told The Washington Post that,
It makes me laugh when the ‘Fashion Police’ hate what I wear. I loved my whole look that night [at the Screen Actor's Guild Awards]. It was really fun. And I just like people looking at me like I was crazy. [Fashion is] a fun way to express yourself. … And I sort of like not pleasing people a bit.
And she means it. She is one of three women who show up to stupid award shows in dresses that most women wouldn’t dare attempt. (The other two are Helena Bonham Carter and Bjork.) In a sea of boring beige, Miss Jones steps it up in all kinds of daring ensambles and doesn’t even care.
And I’m going to say it: she has the hottest of bods. I don’t understand how anyone can have a child and then a mere three weeks later, look thinner than before they were pregnant! Tell me your secrets, January. Is it that you’re really rich and can afford a nutritionist, personal trainer, chef, and nanny? Or were you just born this way, in this body, this incredible vessel of Paltrownian design? What do you eat? What do you not eat? How do you work out? For how long? How many days? I want you to tell me all of your secrets, January Jones, and I will believe anything that you tell me.
Then there’s that name: January Jones. A name like that sets one up to be a 1960′s British rock star or a good natured stripper. And you didn’t do either one of those! Not you. No, you came from out of nowhere, onto a television show that you were only supposed to be on for one episode, onto a television show that became a surprising gigantic hit. You became Betty Draper. You had cool beauty of Grace Kelly but you weren’t too posh to slap women in supermarkets. And then, even better than Betty…you became fat Betty! And you won me over again.
And through it all, you’re doing it your way. If you want to dress up like David Bowie for the Screen Actor’s Guild Awards, then by God, that’s what you’ll do.
January Jones is harmless. Most people think she’s a bitch, but I think she’s just a big weirdo. A big beautiful weirdo.
Images by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images North America, Jason Merritt/Getty Images North America, Bauer Griffin, and Frazer Harrison/Getty Images North America all via Style Bistro.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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