Lena Dunham sent her boyfriend a love letter via email that you can read as part of Miranda July’s latest art project, “We Think Alone.” She got 20 emails sent from 20 celebs. Stuff like Dunham’s love letter to Dunham emailing her assistant about potentially buying a couch.
I think we all love the idea of love letters, and of letters in general, but we don’t love having to write them or send them. Just getting them. To write them means to sit down and hold a freaking pen, like you’re Thomas Jefferson or some shit. And then you have to find that person’s address, and few people have peoples’ home addresses anymore. And you want it to be a surprise so you don’t want to ask them, and if you do you know they’ll say, “What for?”
So email it is! Here’s how to write a love letter email. And also how not to.
– Realize that whatever you send could easily be seen and read by an unintended person(s). Even if you completely trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, you never know who could be trying to look at their phone while they stepped away for a moment. So maybe save the “I’m so glad you dumped Sheila for me, she was such a horrible bitch” for an in-person talk. As with any email, you want to keep in mind that anything could be seen by anyone.
– Proofread it. You think a lot harder about how to spell when you’re writing something in ink, by your own hand. Even if you use spell check on your computer, you still need to read it over to make sure there’s no grammatical errors or typos.
– If you’re not sure exactly what to write, think of your love letter as a list of happy memories you have with that person and the reasons why you love them. Don’t do an actual list of bullet points. Just in keep it in mind. Maybe something like, “I’ll start by writing about the time they took me to dinner on my birthday and tell them that I love how they know all the lines from Clue.”
– Make them feel appreciated. Some people are better with words so if this is you, don’t hold back. We go through our daily routine on such autopilot. When people change up our day somehow and make us feel better, that’s something special. When people do little things that make us happy, that makes our lives so much better than we probably realize. If you’ve never told your boyfriend that you love that he always keeps Diet Coke in the house just for you, do it now.
– Don’t feel you need a particular reason to email them a love letter. Dunham emailed her guy because she was on a trip and missed him. But even if you’re separated by 10 minutes and you have plans tomorrow night, that doesn’t mean you can pour your heart out anyway.
Give it a try. You don’t have to click send if you don’t want to.
Photo credit: Marc Moss via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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