If you ask me, going out to a bar with your best pals on a weekend night is the one of the greatest gambles to take. Most of the time, it’s a real snoozefest, creep central, or just plain strange. But those glorious nights that lead to a random make out, an after-party at some record producer’s mansion in The Hills, or even just a phone number exchange turned flirtatious late-night text conversation make it worth the effort of trying. Those nights, no matter how few and far between, are what keep us going back out for more, despite how painful and diminishing it can be to your self-esteem.
So if you’re going to roll the dice this weekend at your local dive, pub, club, or any other plastic cup-serving establishment, here are some things to keep in mind to minimize the chance of having a bummer night, and increase the odds of finding yourself flirting with a mega babe.
I mention this first because it is the most important. You see someone with whom you think would be a great partner to to to Freaky Town? Go out of your way to make eye contact with this person; it’s basically the most passive pick up line ever. And, if you linger in their gaze long enough, it’s a clear signal that you want your mouth to do stuff with their mouth. Thing is, if you keep your eyes on your friends all night, people will think you’re an aloof and smug bitch. If you keep your eyeballs on your drink all night, people will think you’re an alcoholic.
When it comes to your outfit, if you’re wearing an outfit that you personally are not comfortable in, it will show. No one wants to talk to the girl who keeps pulling down her skirt or wobbling around in too-high heels, not even your friends. Going out to a bar is not the place to experiment with outfits. Where your old standby that makes you feel attractive. Your confidence in how you look and feel will be sexier than any pushup bra you can buy.
This seems like a no brainer, right? I’m always shocked at how many sour-pussed girls and guys are slumped at the bar, in the corners, or scattered in booths. No one is forcing any of you to be there, and this is supposed to be a fun happy place where you can drink and be weird in flattering low lighting. Nothing you decide to wear and no matter how you style your hair is as enticing to someone as your smile. I don’t care if it’s a smile, grin, smirk, or any other configuration you want to position your mouth, just so long as the corners don’t droop down into an ugly scowl.
At our core, we are all nice, friendly, well-meaning people who can sometimes go on the defense in large group settings where we are convinced everyone is judging us. While some dumb, insecure people might be judging you, I’ve learned that for the most part, no one is concerned about anyone but themselves and their own neurosis. Try being on the offense next time. Walk in to the bar like you own the place and chat up every nice person who smiles at you. A friendly positive vibe is infectious. And, don’t be afraid to be the one who makes the move. The worst case is that you get a snub, in which case, WHO CARES? It’s just some random person in a bar who probably never dealt with their dad issues.
Don’t have any expectations for the night or for the people you may or not meet. Creating unrealistic scenarios for how the night will play out will only lead to disappointment. Go into every experience with an open mind, and learn how to surprise yourself.
Heather is a contributing editor at the-dah. She is a Los Angeles based writer, improviser, snacker, social media mistress, and aspiring adult. Read more of her food-stained stories about growing up weird at Terrible-Twenties.com, or follow her digital alter ego @MissHezah on Twitter.
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