So, you did it. You had sex (or some form of sex) with your friend. You’re bangin’ buddies, now. Friends with benefits. Special friends. That whole thing.
But for whatever reason, it’s over now. And you wanna stay friends with your friend. Can you do that? Is it possible?
Yes, you can, and yes, it is. I have some suggestions.
First of all, it all depends on how it ended. Did you mutually decide to end the FWB relationship, or is one party feeling hurt about it? If this is the case, you need to have “the talk” (and honestly, you should have it anyway. True, “the talk” is zero fun, but you gotta do it.) Why? Because, to begin with, you owe it to each other, as friends, to sit down and figure out where you stand. Also, you have “the talk” to eliminate any confusion.
So, you have “the talk” and you figure out where you stand. Let’s say you’re both in a good place. You accept what happened and you wanna move past it and stay friends.
Why not joke about it? Don’t make it a huge deal, and don’t joke about it in a way that would hurt the other person, but a quick, “So what was weird, right?” could ease the tension.
Because you want to ease the tension. You want to acknowledge it, and then ease it. You have to acknowledge it. There’s nothing worse than someone pretending something never happened. It hurts feelings.
Then what? Don’t act as if it never happened, but don’t make it your whole world either. Move on. Move on by being the friends you still are and will be. It’s going to feel weird at first, but if they’re truly your friend, it’s worth moving past.
You have to remember that part. You have to remember that they’re your friend. Friends don’t screw friends and then ignore friends.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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