There’s the obvious answer: get drunk. But sometimes you don’t want to drink. Like…uh…when you already feel nauseous! Or you’re pregnant (ew). Or you’re allergic. Or someone is paying you not to. Yeah, those are pretty much the only situations where you wouldn’t drink at a party.
In this scenario you have fallen under one of those situations, you poor soul. So what do you do to keep things interesting? I have some ideas.
Make up things about your life. It’s not lying if you’re joking inside. Here are some answers I’ve used in the past to the dreaded question, “What do you do?”
– “I’m Sharon Stone’s personal assistant. I mostly get her dry cleaning and go with her parties. Helps her feel young again.”
– “I work at a zoo.” (“Doing what?”) “Animal stuff.”
– “I am the Internet.”
Feel free to adopt these!
Instagram the shit out of everything. I accidentally addicted to Instagram (follow me @apocalypstick.) By taking artsy bullshit photos you force yourself to have fun and force those following you to see how much fun you’re having. I promise you that you will not be the only swine on Instagram at that party. And who cares? You’re sassy.
WARNING: DO NOT DO THIS ONE UNLESS THERE IS AN EXTREME CASE OF PARTY FAILURE.
Take control over the music. As a host, there is nothing more annoying than someone hijacking your ipod/record player/DJ/string quartet but as a guest, there is nothing more annoying than rubbish music. Here are some classic jams that everyone secretly loves to get the party swinging :
– “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal.
– “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. If you play the Glee version, just get the fuck out.
– anything Stevie Wonder.
– “Get What You Give” by New Radicals.
– “Save Tonight” by Eagle Eye Cherry.
Think, “would this make a good story?” and if the answer is yes, do it. Basically, standing awkwardly without speaking to anyone does not make a good story.
Try these and report back.
Reposted with permission from Apocalypstick.
Still from The Shining.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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