Maybe I’m writing this because Pharrell’s “Happy” is stuck in my head, but I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness and relationships. I believe that if a relationship doesn’t add happiness to your life, it’s time to get out of that relationship. But sometimes, it’s not that we’re deeply unhappy; we just know we can do better. So for those times, here’s some tips on how to have a happy relationship.
I think that communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and I know I’m not alone on that one, but what’s important is how you communicate. Good communication doesn’t mean never fighting ever. There are ways to fight fair. Good communication means never being surprised. So if you’re upset about something, you should absolutely bring it up to your partner, in a clear, calm, and concise way. And once you hash it out, it’s done. Don’t go back to it, and don’t bring it up again once you get closure. Otherwise you’re just, to quote David Bowie, “always crashing in the same car.” By all means, if something is bugging you, bring it up; then, put it to bed for good.
This is another big one people talk about a lot in relationships: compromise. It can be as simple as what to watch on Netflix, or as complicated on where you’re going to live. But you have to compromise. You know all those hackneyed phrases about “meeting in the middle” and “giving and taking”? That totally applies. Sometimes, you have to be willing to push your own happiness aside so that someone else can be happy — which creates more happiness. That’s the thing. When you compromise, everyone actually wins. And when everyone wins, everyone is happy.
I’ve said this before, but I think in a relationship, it’s important to try new things. It keeps your relationship from getting stale and routine. Try going on even just a mini vacation, for the weekend, somewhere you’ve never been before. Or try a new restaurant one evening. Or, if this is new to you, try cooking together one night. It’s not important what the new thing is — what’s important is that you’re doing it together. It will be fun, and that will make you happy. Simple, right?
This one sounds silly, but I’m gonna explain it. You should, every so often, write a letter to the other person saying what it is you love about them: big, small, and everything in between. Then read them to each other. Trust me, the silly feeling will wear off when you get to the “awwwww” feeling. It’s all about appreciating each other. I feel like in life we don’t appreciate each other enough, especially not out loud. It’s time to make those feelings known.
How do YOU have a happy relationship?
Photo by Morgan via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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