Friendships come and go — it’s a way of life. Sometimes, it’s because of some major event or offense; one of you deeply hurt the other person, and you can’t move past it. But sometimes, both of you just gradually drift apart. And in some ways, this friendship break up is even harder to cope with. Because it’s not like you did something bad and deserve a break up. You don’t know exactly what went wrong, because nothing really “went wrong.” So it’s not like you can apologize and move on. You just have to…move on.
So whether your break up with your friend was like this — vague and without warning lights — or was straight up (and straight up painful), I have some advice on how to cope with a friend breaks up with you.
Drink lots of wine.
Am I actually advising that you drink to cope with your problems? You bet your sweet bippy I am. Don’t drink forever. Don’t drink so much that you forget your own name. Don’t drink and Facebook (or Tweet, or call). But if you don’t have a drinking problem and are looking to knock back a glass of Olivia Pope style red wine without feeling guilty, I give you my permission.
Call your mom.
Your mommy should always be there for you. If you don’t have a great relationship with your mom, is there someone else you can call? An Aunt, a mentor, a grandmother, a Yoda? Now is the time to lean on an older, wiser figure, who can coax you through the pain, tell you to stop whining, and cheer you up.
Stay off of social media.
For a little while. Seeing their Instagram photos and Facebook updates is just gonna bum you out. If they haven’t unfriended you, you might want to unfriend them. Because seeing how happy they are without you is almost guaranteed to make you sad, and it’s okay to be sad, but why not help yourself and eliminate the sadness?
Make some new friends!
I know, I know, this is definitely easier said than done. Here’s how you start: go to more events. You know those events you’re invited to on Facebook? Yeah, actually try going to those. High School reunion? Fuck it, why not? Just start going to more things. Talk to people. Ask them how they’re doing and who their favorite musician is. Find a common ground. Build from there. Meet up your Internet friends. Livejournal is long dead, but I actually met real life friends on Livejournal! So don’t discount the Internet. It’s good for more than dating.
How do you cope with a friendship break up?
Photo by RomitaGirl67 via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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