Confidence is key. How many times now have you heard that in your life? Probably a lot. I see it, or some version of it, on Pinterest almost daily. But it’s true, isn’t it? When I was a little kid I was surging with confidence. As I got older, it ebbed away. Now I’m trying to get it back.
Here are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up for how to be confident. Share yours! We could all use it. There is enough confidence in this world for everyone.
– Tell yourself, “I am confident.” No, seriously. Repeat it in your mind, over and over, as though it’s fact. Then when you doubt yourself, say, “but that can’t be, because I am confident.” Absorb the message.
– Have a physical or mental list of the people in your life who love you and believe in you. When you’re ever in doubt of yourself, look at the list. Let THOSE people be your source of confidence. If you have moments where you don’t believe in yourself, read the name of the one person who does. One is all you need. One day it will be yourself!
– Eliminate weak works from your vocabulary. Start with your emails. Are you pitching a great idea to your boss? Don’t use words or phrases like “Maybe” or “I think” or “I don’t know…” because if you’re going to doubt yourself, why shouldn’t they? Put strength behind your words. Not cockiness. Don’t lead with, “This is the best idea in the history of this company and you’re an idiot not to follow it.” The Dr. House approach only works on TV.
– Wear clothes that make you feel great. Even if you work at home, change into real clothes. Don’t stay in pajamas all day and don’t change into sweat pants. Save sweatpants for the weekend or your after hours. I know that when I go to a party if I’m feeling like my jeans or too tight or my hair is too flat, I feel a little bit less confident inside. Doesn’t matter if that’s silly, it’s true. So why make things harder on myself? I’m gonna wear the billowy dress instead of the jeans and blow dry my hair.
– Remind yourself of your achievements. There has to be at least one thing you’ve done within the past year that you’re proud of. If not the past year, then go for the past ten. And that brings me to my final point:
– Don’t dismiss your achievements. When people congratulated me on my book, it was really easy for me to say, “Ah, thanks, it’s just an eBook” and shrug it off, because I don’t ever feel worthy of praise. Someone finally told me, “Stop doing that. You wrote a book, people published it, and it’s out there. It doesn’t matter what the medium is. Stop cutting yourself down. You shouldn’t do that to yourself and also it’s annoying.” And I said, “You’re right. Thank you.” And the person who told me that? Albert Einstein. Just kidding, it was a friend of mine I’ve known since college.
What can you add to this list?
Photo credit: Jayne Mansfield by Peter Stackpole, 1956, for LIFE via LIFE photo archives for Google.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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