Judging by the influx of Hallmark and Edible Arrangement commercials interrupting your viewing of “The Bachelor,” you’ve probably figured out that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. And, you’ve probably resigned yourself to spending it in your pajamas, researching how do make a voodoo doll of your ex while slurping down cheap Chinese food and watching “The Craft.”
Here’s an idea: instead of wallowing in your single-girl misery, how about getting into the holiday spirit. Because, after all, Valentine’s Day is about love and relationships – not about having a boyfriend / husband / partner / whatever. And so, I offer you seven things to do on Valentine’s Day that don’t involve wallowing or a boyfriend.
1. Make someone’s Valentine’s Day special.
Have a friend that recently went through a breakup, got laid off and/or lost his or her pet goldfish? Be someone’s someone special. Nowhere in the V-Day rulebook does it say that Valentine’s Day traditions are reserved for romantic relationships. Make reservations at a nice restaurant, preferably with one of those ridiculous love-themed prix fixe menus. Slip into your favorite evening attire, and bring your date flowers, chocolate, a heart shaped balloon or one of those adorable teddy bears holding a red heart (the more ridiculous the better). Do every stupid and clichéd thing that every guy in your life neglected to do. Not only will you both have an amazing dinner without all of the sexual tension, but you’ll also get all of those warm and fuzzy feelings by making someone feel good.
2. Go see Beautiful Creatures.
I’m not going to lie here – I read all 500+ pages of this book in about two days. Lucky for me (and all of you), the film adaptation opens on Valentine’s Day. Grab a friend and immerse yourself in teenage angst, Southern charm, and a trite, but well-written plot. I would also recommend sneaking in a box of chocolate and a couple of airplane sized bottles of Pinot Grigio. Bonus points for playing the “Awkward Moment of Sexual Tension” drinking game.
3. Two words: Rosetta Stone.
Never in my life did I imagine that I would find something more addicting than Angry Birds. And, then I got Rosetta Stone. Not only am I almost conversational in German 30 days later, I now have the perfect cold-weather activity that doesn’t involve camping out in front of the TV for five hours after work. If you can’t bear the thought of being in public and seeing all of those couples, stay in and learn something new. Always had dreams of becoming fluent in Italy and moving to Rome to find your soul mate? Ever wondered if Japanese is a real language? Now is your chance, friends. Rosetta Stone comes with a hefty price tag (but, they do offer a free trial online). For those of you not willing to shell out the cash, check out Busuu.
4. Host an Anti-Valentine’s Day “Mixer”
The “Anti-Valentine’s Day Party” meets that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha attends that awkward “Get rid of this person I’m casually dating” party. Only better. Create a detailed event posting on Facebook. Demand that all attendees bring another single person of the opposite sex (the key to success here is making sure that the male to female ratio is as even as possible). Wait until that shit goes viral and you have hundreds of RSVPs. Introduce anti-Valentine’s Day cocktails and snacks. Mingle.
5. Engage in casual sex
Let’s not fool ourselves here – we live in a world where six-month hookups are more frequent than actual relationships that require actual commitment. Rather than complain about it, can we not embrace it, if only for one night? Here’s the other thing about casual sex: as soon as you find yourself in one of those silly relationships, you can say goodbye to casual sex forever. A small price to pay, some of you might say. Almost every woman that I know that’s been in relationship-land for longer than a few years would HANDS DOWN trade a dozen cheap roses and clichéd dinner for a night of free love with a stranger.
6. Call your parents
No one will ever love you as much as your parents. So, call them. End of story.
Tiya believes that sharing stories about the most embarrassing moments of her not-so-distant youth is the purest form of catharsis. She is a regular contributor to datingandhookup.com and is at work on a gloriously trashy teen novel. Also an avid midnight snacker, she lives, eats and works from Baltimore, Maryland.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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