Why Dating is Better Now Than Then
Men know we are feminists.
None of that “make me a sandwich” crap is ever expected, unless it is a deep, deep-rooted fantasy like Princess Leia in the gold bikini.
Women can date women.
Men can date men. Hell, in my state, we can all even marry each other! I am not naïve or optimistic enough to suggest that no one has to suppress their true sexual desires, but I am here to say that it is truly getting better all the time. You gotta admit.
Text messaging is like a million times easier…
…than leaving a spoken message on an answering machine. I mean an answering machine. Like where other people can hear the message. What the hell was up with those things? Texts are the greatest because your little brother, roommates, mom, friend-who-secretly-loves-you doesn’t (or shouldn’t) read (and potentially delete, like back in sitcom episodes where someone would just delete the message on an answering machine) your texts, so we can never use the “I-didn’t-get-that-message” excuse. Oh, and dump the dude who uses that, because no one just doesn’t get a text message. It is 2013.
…though that all being said, texting is easy, which means drunk texting is the easiest thing in the world. Not always a good thing, in my very experienced opinion, though I can use a semi-colon like a boss when I’m drunk, so that’s cool if the boy you are in love with cares about stuff like semi-colons.
Social networking allows us to know what we are getting ourselves into.
You know when you meet a cute dude in class, or at work, or he is a customer at your coffee stand or something? (#baristatalk) So you find out his name, and facebook stalk him before you even consider making a move / letting a move be made? WHAT IS THIS LIFE? It’s awesome, that’s what it is. I cannot even imagine living fifty years ago when you just had to figure stuff out about people by actually talking to them.
Things that I am able to judge about a potential mate because of social networking:
Most men are down to split the check.
Or they are at least down to work out some sort of “every other date” thing. To be 100% honest, the number one reason I hate dating is because I hate expecting that someone will pay for me, and I hate that awkward “together or separate” crap. ESPECIALLY AT A MOVIE. Like, I always make him go first to see if he is going to pay, and it is just so, so uncomfortable.
Going home on the first date? NBD.
There is a whole bunch of not-quite-so-judgmental choices made during dates these days. Even when I was a kid, there was a lot of talk about “not kissing on the first date” and stuff, but how silly is that? I am a fan of doing whatever you want, as long as you are safe about it! No glove, no love, but if you are protected, no problem with gettin’ some!
But for me personally, you are dreaming if you think I would go home with a man on a first date.
Dates are much more creative these days.
I have almost never been to “dinner and a movie,” though I admittedly love dinner and movies! My first date was a Pink Floyd laser show and a Sonics (RIP) game. I mean, I hate sports, and Pink Floyd’s music gives me nightmares, but that boy got an A+ in originality.
Everyone is pretty open about being dysfunctional.
Before, it used to be like “secret alcoholic dad,” or “secret-my-parents-don’t-talk-anymore,” but our generation grew up with Simpsons, not Bradys. It is far more embarrassing to sport parents that are married and actually in love with each other than to sport an endless line-up of step-everythings.
No car? No problem!
I think I am more likely to dig a walker/biker/environmentally conscious dude than one with a nice whip.
…though I can admit that the death of “make out point”s is pretty depressing.
There are like a thousand ways to get a hold of someone.
No more “waiting by the phone,” mostly because your phone—which also means your email, texts, facebook, twitter, actual phone for using your human voice—is literally always in your hand. So maybe you are *refreshing your gmail waiting for that email from your crush’s bank teller address, but I mean…maybe you just love checking your email. No one knows!
*Yeah, I know that gmail refreshes itself.
We are all more open about stuff.
Did you know religion and politics used to be off-limits during normal conversation? Millenials are all about sharing their opinions though, which IN MY OPINION, is awesome. I feel like I wear my “non-believer” heart on my sleeve right next to my “Hope” and “Change” Obama propaganda.
It’s cool to be unmarried.
Yeah at 25, or even 30something. 30 and single used to be spinster status! Now it makes you feel totally normal—like a sitcom character. I mean, even the Friends dated well into their 30s!
Our options are much greater these days.
Maybe this is a “me” thing. Even if you aren’t into online dating, there are a ton of options for connections. Twitter alone has introduced me to awesome men and women, and I have legitimate pen pal status with three dudes that live nowhere near me, but hey! If I ever want to move to Brooklyn, it could be a thing!
(I always want to move to Brooklyn.)
Age ain’t nothing but a number.
…I mean, most times. I know old guys are insecure about dating younger girls sometimes, and probably vice versa, but I feel like we have come a long way since we were pretty much expected to date within our high school class, you know? Maybe it is just me being optimistic for some strange reason, but I am down with some age differences. Think about Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones! Amber Tamblyn and David Cross! Ally McBeal and Indiana Jones! Those couples are all like a million years apart, and it seems to work out, so you know. YOLO, or whatever the kids are saying. What are the chances that you meet the love of your life and they happen to be born the same year as you? Embrace diversity; expand your horizons; date an old man.
Main images via the-absolute-best-memes and cheezburger, Rachel image via fotolog.com, Back to the Future image via andrewsidea.wordpress
Jessica Tholmer is a regular contributor to various websites, including her own blog, which consists of her reflecting about the terrible dating choices she makes, and sometimes The Biebs. She has fallen in love like a million times, and hopes to hold the record for "most broken hearts" by the time she is 45. You can find out literally everything about her, because she is everywhere to you.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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