Because although a wedding can be a lovely outpouring of affection and support for the newlyweds, it can also be a uniquely fraught situation where lots of tricky and deeply-felt things come together — family relationships, gender roles, religion or lack thereof, budgetary concerns, even food allergies. It is a lot to hold in your head, and a lot of different people have strong expectations which they can’t help but project on you.
Those kisses! Those cakes! Those dresses! Those dresses that look like cakes!
If you ever go to China, you have to visit Mt. Huangshan – a mountain so majestic that the Chinese say you will never have to go to another mountain again, because none will compare. As you climb the jagged yellow rocks between the flat-topped pines, you will be enveloped in a sea of clouds. The atmosphere is so romantic that the Chinese call it Xian Jing – Heavenly Place.
There is an old tradition that, if lovers put a lock on the railings and bridges on Mt. Huangshan, their love will be blessed by Yue Lao—a Chinese Deity appointed as the Matchmaker for relationship and marriage.
To participate in this real-life fairytale, a couple will buy a lock, climb the mountain together, and after locking the “Tong Xin Suo” (lover lock) on the chain of one of the many bridges, they will throw the keys off the cliff and they will literally be locked in love forever. But how has this tradition held up in today’s world?
Bear with me! A week after the Royal Wedding, I know we’re all feeling a bit like that little frowning flower girl. Especially when major world events like SEAL Team 6 showing Osama who’s boss remind us that there’s really (really, really, really) more to life (and the world) than whether lace sleeves are the greatest thing ever and which ugly stepsister had the most awesome hat.
BUT. I think there is a lot we Millennials should appreciate – and hold on to – from that literally-spectacular, star-making and generation-defining (yep) Event…
A finely cut diamond, a romantic atmosphere, a well thought-out speech, a man on one knee…the works. And then there are bonus points available if hundreds of sports fans, parkgoers or restaurant attendees are breathlessly awaiting your answer – what a great way to say to the world, “Hey! I made it through the awful drudgery of being single, and I caught me a man! Yeah, you should be jealous!”
Of course women want all that. Don’t we?
Once Upon A Time…
It was very clear what we could expect and hope for, being women.
But then the 60′s, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s, and 00′s happened, and we Millennials came of age.
Which brings us to today’s quote, which is a new-fangled fairy tale with an ending line we here at WTF?! love.
(Read on HERE)
As a married man, I don’t really have any business writing on the subject of dating. That part of my life is (thankfully) over.
However, I was on the dating scene for many years. I can’t offer any “wisdom” per se, but I can offer a few of my experiences as someone who has navigated the treacherous minefield of dating and lost a limb or two in the process.
Here’s my advice – good luck making it out of the trenches.
I just got back from the most beautiful wedding. The bride wore white. The groom’s minister father performed the ceremony. The wedding took place at an old pilgrim church in New Haven. Vows were made “before God and these witnesses.” And at the reception – on polished, creaky, historic floors, sipping specialty (strong) cocktails – we danced to jazz standards and toasted the happy couple with the Mory’s song. Did I mention the Best Man was really cute?
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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