I checked my credit score for the first time the other day* and had an epiphany – why have we not managed to invent some sort of relationship score?! Sure, there’s plenty of hocus pocus out there to help you determine your “compatibility,” but when you’re past the stage of knowing whether or not you can stand being a room with someone for 10 minutes, how do you gauge where you’re at – like, right now?
Credit scores may not be the best analogy because there are numerous ways of calculating your credit worthiness, but regardless of the scale you’re using there are very clear things that make the score go up or make it go down. For instance, not paying bills on time is an obvious credit destroyer. Whereas, to my surprise, getting a mortgage actually helps your credit because they are hard to get and people assume you’re credit worthy if you have one (as long as it’s not subprime!). Certainly, the things that will help or hurt are relative – if you have excellent credit then a continuing to pay on time and in full doesn’t help that much. If you have bad credit, well, life sucks doesn’t it?
I think it would be relatively easy to apply this type of scoring to relationships. The baseline is just whether or not you’re in a relationship and then you can add or subtract points for things like the length of the relationship, level of commitment, number of common interests, how recently you’ve had an argument, etc. to determine where you fall along the line. It makes so much sense, right?!
I say all this to make the point that, I think I deserve some extra credit in my relationship. Now, this isn’t a self-centered plea for recognition (or maybe it is), but you know, I do a lot to keep things moving along – like, move to Canada. You know. BIG THINGS. Technically, I’m not allowed to use that as a trump card – and I don’t believe that it gives me carte blanche to be crazy and demanding (it just happens, okay) –but, sometimes, just sometimes, I would like a little thank you. Thank you for changing your life so that we can stay in this relationship.**/***
I guess the issue is that I feel like, given the things that I have committed myself to in the name of this relationship, I should be scoring high on the meter – moving to another country seems like it should be the equivalent of getting a mortgage, right? Yet, there are still some of those bothersome habits that get in the way of just appreciating what it is that we do for each other. It’s never anything serious, but the little disagreements we have over where to eat or how to fold laundry tend to come to mind more easily and therefore cloud the overall picture that we have of where things stand, sometimes. Hence my desire for an objective system to evaluate relationships, specifically mine. Don’t get me wrong, things are great. I just want something that can help remind me how great they are sometimes without making a big fuss.
*Don’t worry, Dad. As a responsible adult, I request my free annual credit report every year to make sure that my excellent credit isn’t bank rolling someone else’s lifestyle, but I never really felt the need to assign a number to it. After all, I pay all my bills.
** Okay, this is completely one-sided. He has done a lot to make sure the relationship works as well and his unwavering patience is a trait to be admired. Just let me rant a little.
*** I should also take this moment to say thanks to mi hombre for the wonderful vacation he just took me on. YOU’RE THE BEST!!!
Thanks for the photo guys!
Valarie is from Georgia. No, she doesn't have an accent. No one in metro-Atlanta really does. You can read her thoughts, using non-regional diction, at thinkingaboutdoing.tumblr.com.
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