It’s 2014 (practically) and yet it’s still uncommon and even unusual for a woman to propose marriage to a man. I’m still not sure why so many traditions have changed over time, and yet this one remains mostly unchanged. I admit, I don’t think I would have the courage to propose, because I’d be terrified of being turned down and/or of somehow offending the guy. Not that I would ever be with a man who would be offended by me proposing to him, instead of him to me. But still, it’s such a common thing — really, a given — that the guy is the one who proposes. So when a girlfriend proposes, it gets some attention. Which is kind of ridiculous, but it’s like there’s this silent, “Eh, that’s how it is” that we abide by.
But a woman named Lacey was all, “nope” and decided to be the one to propose. She wrote about how she did it on Offbeat Bride. She made a pillow fort. Here’s an excerpt of her plans:
I turned the blanket fort into a scavenger hunt, complete with instructions and pictures copied from the “Pillows and Blankets” episode of Community, where they built a giant blanket fort called New Fluffytown. I had several steps, with the last step leading to an enclave under a desk, where I had written a letter explaining that I was sorry I had let him get stressed about such a simple four word question — especially a question that in my eyes had only one answer. It then told him to open the box behind it, which contained his ring (handmade ebony wood ring, same as mine), and a card that asked him to marry me.
It’s so sweet, and I hate myself for thinking it’s so brave of her — it’s brave for men to ask the question, too.
Her boyfriend said yes. And he also said this:
I don’t know how many men have been swept off their feet so let me tell you my brothers… There is no better feeling in the world. Especially when the proposal is coming from someone who already has your heart and still feels she has the need to ask for it.
And oh my God, not that I have Grinch-ly heart, but I felt it grow 2 sizes bigger when I read this. It never occurred to me that men aren’t “swept off their feet” or that they’d want to be. But doesn’t everyone? Don’t we all want to feel loved and special?
This guy was obviously more than cool with her proposing (“We’re a little backwards, it’s the only way we roll.”) and I wish them a very happy marriage. It sounds like they know each other really well, and that the importance of their proposal was how and why it was done, and not who did it. Which is how it should be.
Would YOU ever propose to your guy? If so, how? Do you think proposals for men are different than proposals for women?
Photo credit: mnwatts via Flickr
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter