Is there any type of girl that’s really the “marrying kind?” And conversely, are there specific girls that will just never see the altar? It seems a little too subjective to say and, yet, there is one girl who believes she knows the answer to both questions.
Ally Batista is a self-proclaimed “housewife in training,” according to her author bio on Elite Daily. A couple months ago, Batista wrote an article called, “Girls Who Are Never Getting Married,” a list that ruthlessly categorized, stereotyped, and ripped apart female groups such as coke whores, models, video vixens, princesses, and liars. It’s always a good idea to generalize on the Internet, right?
Of course not. The article was obviously eviscerated by commenters condemning Batista for being a self-righteous b*tch on a make-shift soapbox. I don’t disagree with general consensus. And, because her first installment went SO well, she recently followed it up with a sequel, “The Girls You Should Be Marrying.” In this article she prefaces:
“Earlier in the month I wrote an article titled “The Girls Who Are Never Getting Married”. You may have read it; it continues to get an influx of negative comments to this day, as the only people that are offended are the ones that know its true. So many women were furious with the article, claiming that the man who wrote it was misogynistic, disgusting, and my favorite comment “has four girls buried under his crawl space.”
Well Elite Daily readers, I wrote that article, and I am a female. Surprised? Feeling stupid? I hope so. I wrote that article because I’m disgusted with the girls of my generation who use their sexuality to get ahead in life, and disrespect themselves on a daily basis.”
I appreciate when authors intentionally try to outsmart and alienate their readership. Keeping us on our toes Batista! She goes on to justify the second piece:
“I wrote that article because those are the women I would hate to see my close guy friends end up with, or my brothers. If any guy that I’m close with wants to pursue a long-term relationship, these are the women I hope they do that with and eventually end up with.”
That’s a great reason; I just wish she’d made the list and sent it around in a group email to her close guy friends to be filed under, “unsolicited advice from our really intense friend Ally.”
I’m patriotic; I’m all for the first amendment. But, if you have a platform on which to speak, do not wield that power lightly. If anyone is lucky enough to be a published writer, whether they got paid in US dollars or Twitter followers, it’s a good idea to treat that opportunity with respect. That means taking pride in your work by careful copy-editing (the follow up piece Batista wrote is absolutely riddled with grammatical errors). It means having some perspective. If you are writing something for your personal blog, be as self-indulgent, whiney and awful as you want. That’s your place to do you.
But, if you are speaking to a broader audience, have a little tact. Being controversial for controversial sake is derivative and trite. Make the choice to steer conversations in a positive way. These articles didn’t do the modern institution of marriage any favors.
I tend to agree with the commenters. Everyone has a right to get married. Haven’t you ever heard the cliche, “There’s somebody for everybody?” Coke whores need love too, so do models, and even liars. The likelihood of one of them marrying your nice banker brother is slim but, even if that did happen, it’s probably none of your business! The heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes that comes in the form of a drug dealing prop-master you met on the set of a Lifetime Movie with Dick Van Dyke (I admit nothing).
Articles like these perpetuate stereotypes about women, marriage, relationships and love in general. We don’t need more conventional love propaganda, and we certainly don’t need girl on girl shaming. How are we ever supposed to get paid as much as men when we keep stepping all over each other’s choices?
So bottom line: Everyone deserves to be married, be loved, or to do as much coke as they want. And, if you think otherwise, keep it to yourself…or your blog.
Image from EliteDaily!
Heather is a contributing editor at the-dah. She is a Los Angeles based writer, improviser, snacker, social media mistress, and aspiring adult. Read more of her food-stained stories about growing up weird at Terrible-Twenties.com, or follow her digital alter ego @MissHezah on Twitter.
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