…then He’s Attracted to You. Ladies, you heard it here first.
If one more guy tells me this! (Actually, what I usually hear is, “If I’m talking to her, then I want to sleep with her.” But gotta keep it clean for the HuffPost crowd).
Happy Summer Friday, folks. Here’s to many, um, conversations to be had over the weekend.
Are you there girls? It’s me, Matthew.
That’s a question and a consequent introductory statement that I haven’t had to make for the better part of nearly four years. I was in a seemingly fruitful, committed relationship, and I happily played the role of boyfriend. That all changed a few weeks back, as I saw this love affair come to a screeching halt and parted ways with the girl I suppose I guess I assumed I’d eventually marry.
Now, the breakup itself was mutual and amicable. Both parties still care fondly for one another as people, and there was no foul play that would prompt an emotional outpouring of hatred from one side. Nothing like that at all went on. Everything was OK, and that was the issue. It can’t just be OK.
I’ve always loved reading men’s magazines – GQ, Maxim, Details, Esquire – to see what advice men are getting about dating. I’ll never forget the time when, for three weeks, the guy who I had been seeing (seeing = hooking up and IMing with) went completely MIA. About an hour after writing him off entirely, I received a lovely email explaining that he’d been busy with work, and he knew that “other guys say this all the time, and it must sound SO cliche,” but that he really meant it and felt terrible and wanted to see me. I was charmed, of course, and immediately headed over to his place, only to later find the latest copy of a men’s magazine on his coffee table with an article about “10 Ways To Convince Her That You’re Sorry For Your Bad Behavior (Even If You’re Not).” His email, almost word-for-word, was front and center on the list. Needless to say, our relationship fizzled pretty quickly after that.
But forget the media – what do REAL men say to each other about love? Not journalists, or editors, or Dr. Phil knockoffs. But your father, your professor, your co-worker, your neighbor…real, normal guys, like the ones that you and I will probably end up with. A new site, “The Man’s Guide To Love,” offers a series of glimpses into these guys’ thoughts. Or more specifically, into this question:
“If you had one piece of advice that you’d give another man about love, what would it be?”
Drawn in by the lure of cover star Robert Pattinson’s eyes (despite being more of a Team Jacob kind of girl – yeah, I said it!), I opened the 10th Anniversary March issue of Details today and came upon a cultural trend piece about “The Remasculated Man.” Lauding Conan O’Brien’s recent middle-finger-in-the-air attitude towards NBC as the new symbol of masculinity, the article claims:
“After years of dutiful, dues-paying obsequiousness, men seem to be coming to the realization that surviving (and even enjoying) the wide-open Wild West gestalt of 2010 demands a different response than testicular retraction. In other words, we’re witnessing the remasculation of the American man.”
So Marni writes: “WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH THE BAD BOY!!!!!!! They want to be with a good man who does possess some of the qualities the bad boy pretends to have.”
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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