“You know I -
Thug ‘em, hug ‘em, love ‘em, leave ‘em
But I don’t trust or need ‘em”
Most of us think we can spot a player – right?
We’ve seen the music videos and the movies. We’ve scrolled through the endless list of girls in their phones. We’ve caught them with their omnipresent harem of ladies at the bar. We’ve received the “Hey, what are u up to?” mass texts at 9pm on Saturday night. We’ve gotten the message – loud and clear, thanks! – after hearing their claims of, “I’m just not looking for anything serious right now.”
We know a player when we see one.
The Charming Player. The Sketchy Player. The Drunk Player. The Sexy Player. The Rich Player. The Player Who Won’t Make Eye Contact. The Traveling Player. The Entitled Player. The Commitment-Phobic Player. The MIA Player. The Cheating Player. The Player Everyone Warned You About.
Come one, come all! We modern women can take it. We know your games, and we know how to handle you.
Or so we thought.
Out of the ambiguous abyss of the post-dating world, a new form of player has emerged. We have Darwin to thank – for this new species of player has evolved from the simple-minded, sex-driven players of yore into a sophisticated, persuasive, mind-f*cking man who may prove to be the most dangerous of them all. He is an obvious product of the key tenets of thoughtfulness, innovation and self-actualization that define our Millennial generation.
Ladies, meet the Self-Justifying Player. Let’s call him the SJP, for short (sorry, Sarah Jessica Parker…but we told you that we were ready for something new!).
I’m not talking about a guy who just believes in you and is cool with you having a career. I’m talking about a guy who actively fights for women’s right in his daily life. If my my boyfriend wore a bra, he would 100% take it off and burn it at a rally to send a message. These are things about him that confirm my suspicions that I am in love with a feminist.
Hey, you know what? You should have coffee with people who want to have coffee with you. Move on from the people that don’t.
Sometimes, you just need some relationship help. You may want to turn to your gal pals for this, but why not try your guy friends instead? They might offer a different perspective you never even thought of. I asked some guy friends for relationship advice, and this is what they gave me. Here’s 5 pieces of relationship advice from guys.
Dating can be a tricky game, usually because we make it tricky. We tend to over-think everything and over-analyze it all. Texts, phone conversations, even the way he titled his head — personally, I know I could over-think all those things. And it will only screw me over in the end. Don’t be like me. Don’t do this.
If someone describes themselves as “not a keeper,” it’s best to believe them and move along.
Best looking boys go all the way.
We’re still working our way through this Cosmo list, and the claims are becoming a little more questionable (or, in some cases, oddly specific).
The editors at Cosmo compiled a list of 38 annoying things about guys. Let’s discuss a few of these points, shall we?
I asked my friend Tony, “Hey Tony. I know this is a big question, but what do guys really want? I know every man is different. But think broadly. What do guys want from a woman? For her to do or not do? You know?”
He said, “It really depends on the guy. And unfortunately, I’m so far off from most guys that I don’t know how well I can answer that.” And then, he asked me, “What do you want out of a boy? For him to do and not do?”
Here’s what I want.
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is always having someone to share in and celebrate your achievements, right? Well, a new study shows that guys feel more insecure than proud when their female partners experienced success, which leads me to ask: Um, what?
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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