Jess – I get the logic of your argument from last week’s Ode to Ugly Guys. Ugly guys are more fun and interesting than hot guys. The gargoyles from The Hunchback of Notre Dame also make the point rather well.
But what if I don’t want to have sex with that ugly guy?
Or, to put it visually.
These naked ugly guys are brilliant and funny (and for all I know geniuses in bed):
But, at the end of the day, I want to have sex with this hot guy (and so do you):
Such, evidently, is the predicament of the modern woman.
We want to have it all. The love, the commitment, the fun times, the great sex, the masculine wherewithal when it comes to killing bugs and changing lightbulbs. I don’t intend to settle for the guy who’s boring, who has annoying habits, or who doesn’t ‘get’ the many multi-facets of ME. And I don’t intend to settle for The Ugly Guy either.
I’ve always considered myself lucky in love. I’ve enjoyed the company of men whom I find hopelessly dreamy and sexy. I’ve always felt that life – and love – should be a blast. So I’ve never gotten down with The Ugly Guy, and my love life has been pretty great all around. Take that, Jess! (And MSN!)
But in this post-modern, post-dating era, it’s not enough just to say that a given fact is so. Ergo, I decided to subject my hypothesis – I go for The Hot Guy, not The Ugly Guy – to the scrutiny of a scientifically selected, random sampling of my girlfriends, sisters and loved ones. And here’s what they had to say about my vaunted boyfriends, paramours and dah guys of past and present:
He’s kind of like, if you met him, you might think he was gay.
He’s totally cute! He’s like that boy in kindergarden who ate bugs on the playground and made you laugh.
He was sketchy Euro-trash. Yeah, that’s the word. Sketchy.
He obviously thinks he’s really attractive.
You are randy as all get out.
I get that he’s a genius. But other than that, I really don’t know what you see.
He’s a total jerk but at least you got laid.
I bet he’d be cute if he showered or shaved once in a while.
I guess he’s balding in a sexy way…
He’s handsome, but he doesn’t say much, and when he does, it’s like “What?”
At least he’s rich!
Cute. But not sexy. And a philosopher. Sociopath.
He’s attractive, but square. All-American. Except that he’s Mexican.
No, I mean, he’s totally cool…I just think you deserve better.
Every guy you’ve been with except Dave Stanley is at best questionable.
Count me f*cking shocked. I can honestly say that each of the guys referenced here was (and is!) in my opinion SEXY and HOT.
Have I been falling for The Ugly Guy all along???
I guess there’s no accounting for taste. You are at the center of your dah for a reason. Because no one shares (read: appreciates) your own quirky and unique sensibility about what makes guys HOT OR NOT.
I guess you’re right after all, Jess. (dammit!) I was attracted to all the above guys because of their talents, charisma, interesting qualities, and ability to forge intense connections – all of which were most likely honed because some girl they liked, at some point, thought of them as…The Ugly Guy.
So how to scientifically account for Tim Riggins, aka Taylor Kitsch? That, my friends, is one of the great mysteries of life. A mystery I will leave you to ponder in your own quirky, unique way…
Rebecca Coale - aka Becky - is a writer, musician and producer. She and childhood best friend Jessica Donalds created Dating & Hookup and founded J&R Creative Media. Becky blogs about love poetry and modern life & womanhood. She lives with her husband, Howard Coale, and their family in Manhattan and Philadelphia.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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