I’m surrounded by couples, and it’s kinda having a negative effect on my social life.
This isn’t something I think about very often. Through the spring, summer and fall, I’m usually content to go about my own business with the occasional concert or sporting event with friends thrown into the mix. But winter brings about a cooped-up feeling that drives me crazy, which causes me to seek out more social engagements than usual.
Recent events in my friends’ love lives have left me struggling to find something to do each wintry weekend in this small town: one of my closest friends recently proposed to his wonderful girlfriend (now fiancée), officially making me the last single person in my small social circle.
No, I haven’t hit the panic button yet. I’m not going to throw myself at the next available dude just so I can say, “Look, I’m in a relationship, too! I did it!” That’s not my style. Still, I can’t help but to notice that it’s easier for couples to make plans with other couples than it is to invite Little Miss Third Wheel.
Obviously nobody has ever said this to me, but even if they did, I couldn’t argue with them. Even numbers make a lot of things easier. Nobody is ever left out of a conversation, nobody ever has to sit alone on a rollercoaster, and chances are pretty good that all of the place settings will match at any couples-heavy dinner party.
Plus, it’s probably detrimental that I’m closer friends with the guy than the girl, because we all know girls are the planners in any co-ed group, particularly when it comes to setting up double dates. And I’m sure I’d be no different if I were half of a couple. (Actually, no. I’m a better one-on-one socializer, so I’d probably be content hanging out with just my boyfriend. Of course I’d complicate my own example.)
The truth is, I’d like to be like all of my coupled-up friends. I’d like to (occasionally) make plans with other couples. But I haven’t met the right guy yet. And I feel like I will meet that guy eventually, but I don’t want to feel rushed. My desire to make plans for the weekend, however, adds unwanted pressure to the unrushable situation that is my love life.
You’re probably thinking, “Hey lady, quit whining and go hang out with single people. Problem solved.” And I would, Reader, I absolutely would if it were that easy. But nearly everybody around here within five years of my age is “involved.” All but a handful of my co-workers and almost all of the local Millennials are dating, engaged or married. I don’t know if I missed some kind of get-together wherein everybody decided who was going to pair up with whom, but here I am, single and unsure of what I need to do next.
So, what should I do? No, seriously: I’m open to suggestions. Do I simply ask my friend if he could try to include me in some future activities? Seriously consider relocating to a new town? Ask people to set me up (which is something I’ve never, ever asked anybody to do)? Should I take a more assertive approach to dating? And if so, how, exactly, would I do that?
Thanks misko13 for the photo!
Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter