What is this all about anyway? I saw this classic Carrie meme on Buzzfeed‘s list of “27 Ways You Are Not Carrie Bradshaw” this morning and it reminded me of so many hours, laying on the couch pretending to watch TV but really staring at my phone. (I was also reminded of HOW MUCH Sex and the City I have watched, since I could name the season and episode of all twenty-seven memes.) How many nights have you fallen asleep with your phone tucked under your pillow, just in case he calls or texts? I honestly couldn’t calculate my number, but it’s surely embarrassing. And yes, as misguided as Carrie Bradshaw can be, she has a point.
We all believe a constant stream of connection is needed to prove interest in another human being. We’ve even reached a scary dismal rock bottom by accepting a winky-face emoticon as a sign of true affection. It’s not just a text or call either. We’re constantly checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare…literally any social profile for any signs of life. Where are they going, who are they with, what time did they post….IT’S INSANE. But what is the alternative? Not worrying about when your love interest will contact you?
It’s not this is a new advent with the rise of technology. Hello? Remember sweet little Gigi waiting by her pink landline for stupid E to call in “He’s Just Not That Into You”? This brand of crazy ain’t nothing new.
I’d love to tell you that we’re all nutbags and it doesn’t matter when he calls or not, but thats untrue. If you’re interested in someone and you want to see them….you find a way to see him or her. Yes that’s right, it’s works the other way around too ladies. If you aren’t that into a dude, you give him the slow fade, because it’s the gentle thing to do sometimes. If we are culprits of not communicating, then we have to be OK with finding ourselves on the other side of the text conversation.
But it’s definitely been my experience that if a guy isn’t calling or texting, he’s just not that into it, and there’s no point in speculating about it with your girlfriends for hours over brunch. Sure, maybe he’s not ready. Maybe he’s scared. Maybe he’s emotionally stunted. But, even if any of these lame ass excuses were true…why would want to date this weirdo anyway? Let that hot mess of a man walk away for some girl who has the time to cry over his poor communication skills.
So if a guy doesn’t call you for three days…it doesn’t mean you’re ugly, awful, dumb, fat, smelly, or undesirable. It’s because he really isn’t the right person for you. Don’t feel rejected; feel relieved that you avoided wasting months of your life nurturing a relationship that was never going to blossom.
Heather is a contributing editor at the-dah. She is a Los Angeles based writer, improviser, snacker, social media mistress, and aspiring adult. Read more of her food-stained stories about growing up weird at Terrible-Twenties.com, or follow her digital alter ego @MissHezah on Twitter.
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