Some people grow up and change their ways. And some people just don’t.
If I was going to be a boy, I would have been named Scott, a name I much prefer to my own. Scott. Scottie. Scooter. What a cool name!
Unfortunately for my perfect name, according to WhitePages.com, who recently released the top male names in the US most associated with cheating on their partners, Scott it the most popular name associated with a low-down-dirty-cheater. AND, there are almost 2 million potentially cheating Scotts running around the U.S. today. This is almost scarier than a zombie apocalypse.
Ok, ok…maybe I’m glad I didn’t end up a cheater. As a Heather I have never cheated on a partner, nor have I been cheated on, to my blissful ignorance.
But, what’s in a name? How did all these names become tied to a Carrie Underwood song? Is it because they are popular names in general? Scott, Mark, Matthew, Ryan — OK, Ryan definitely sounds suspect — are all popular names for men. Perhaps it’s safe to assume based on volume alone, the chances that there will be some cheaters in the mix is greater. After all, a lot of the names listed were on the top 100 list of baby names for 2013. There’s a pretty slim chance that the name Percival would end up on the cheater list, because no one has named their son Percival since 1887.
Or, maybe having a certain name elicits different behavior. Would a Roxanne act differently than a Sarah, even if they grew up exactly the same? Possibly.
But, I think we can all agree that the name Craig is objectively creepy and definitely suspicious, and that’s not just because I had one show up at my door last year on his birthday with another girl.
Here’s the whole list from WhitePages.com:
The Unlucky 13: Top Names Most Associated with Cheating
Here’s the thing: If you have to ask, then you probably already know the answer.
Why do people date cheaters? Because they’re just so good at convincing you to date them. Let Mike explain.
Some people, I have heard, have recurring dreams. My own subconscious is nowhere near as consistent as that, but what it does do is periodically offer up a new variation on some previously-explored, and generally terrible, recurring theme. The theme that’s resurfaced every couple of years throughout my adult life: Terrible Ruinous Decision with Appalling Consequences.
When I was younger, it was a little more abstract. I had a couple dreams that I had taken up smoking, and was addicted to cigarettes. Then there were one or two pregnancy dreams, from which I awakened in full heart-crushing panic until I remembered that my uterus was most definitely empty.
Well hello everyone!
Like Victor Kiriakis, I’ve returned to wreak havoc on your love lives like no one else can. I’m here to explain to you the nuances of dating that you can’t put into words. I’m also here to sit you down and delicately tell you why you (and everyone else in your terrible generation) can’t keep a steady, long, fulfilling relationship.
More importantly, I’m here to explain to you the difference between girl-cheating, guy-cheating and just plain cheating-cheating!
Excited? You should be. Let’s get to it right away, you can thank me later.
Can you take a relative stance to an issue like cheating? Especially when, these days, it may or may not be clear exactly what cheating is…??
Check out WTF?! Cheat Week:
from WTF?!’s very own author and post-dating guru, Jess:
from The WTF?! Guest Blog:
To cheat or not to cheat? Oh, if only that was the only question.
Once upon a time, in the potentially mythical era where romantic boundaries were clear and Rules were staid and everyone was running around in poodle skirts and varsity letter pins (wait, Grease wasn’t a documentary?!), cheating was a contained issue.
You dated someone. Then you either took someone else out on dates at the same time (cheating!) or got down and dirty with someone else (cheating!). Or, you didn’t (not cheating!). If you were in a relationship, the only question was, “Do I want to cheat?” If you were single, you had to decide, “Do I want to be the other woman/man?” Tough decisions, maybe. But pretty damn clear.
On the one hand, let’s look at our celebrities. Tony Parker gets handed divorce papers after sending some questionable text messages to a woman who was not his (hot) wife. Angelina Jolie swears that she and Brad Pitt didn’t physically hook up until after his split with Jennifer Aniston – but we still see her as a homewrecker. Bill Clinton cheated up a storm, but many still love him and root for him and Hillary to take over the world. Charlie Sheen currently has two live-in girlfriends – goddesses! – and, by any sane stretch of the imagination, is also sleeping with countless other women…but somehow, everyone seems to be enjoying the arrangement.
So, wait. Does all this stuff fall under the umbrella of cheating? Yep. Ambiguous, right?
And on the other hand, let’s review what we learned during our very own WTF?! Cheat Week. We asked for a variety of perspectives on cheating, and a variety is what we got. We learned that men and women often define cheating in vastly different ways. We realized that Chicago is the wrong city in which to plan a date with your jump-off. We heard that sometimes, even when the circumstances are unquestionably shady and well, wrong, bad intentions can lead to positive outcomes and cheating can result in loving relationships. And we discovered that if you’re a married guy, you’d be wise to stay far, far away from West.
This was all fascinating! But judging by the follow-up emails, comments, Facebook messages and Gchat queries that I received, WTF?! Cheat Week left many of you with one burning question.
In this post-dating world of ambiguous interactions and non-dates and techno-romance and dahs and friendships and undefined relationships and blurred lines and differing thoughts on monogamy and commitment and connection…what is the definition of cheating? How can you tell if you’re doing it? When are you correct in thinking that your significant other is doing it? How can you determine if someone is trying to do it with you? Is there some understanding about cheating that we can all come to, in order to minimize unnecessary hurt and betrayal and mixed signals? How can we enter into relationships, 100% sure that we are on the same page as our partners when it comes to cheating?
In other words – what counts as cheating these days?
Granted, dating is one of my least favorite things on the planet. I’m recently back in the dating scene after a long term relationship – shocker – I still hate dating, non-dating and everything in between. I find that, more often than not, I’d rather stay home alone with a glass of wine, Lynda.com AND a good book. Currently reading Patti Smith’s “Just Kids” which I highly recommend.
People love to say, “When you find the right guy, you won’t feel that way.”
False – you can love someone and still want your independence, not to mention some quiet reading time alone – but that’s for another blog someday.
I’ve had my share of WTF?! Moments, which I’ve found very theraputic to post on our site. However, I’m movning on over to the guest blog to share this mind-f*cking story because it truly tops them all. I really want to know what the WTF?! community has to say.
A few years ago, I was in an imperfect but mostly content relationship. My then boyfriend of two and a half years (we’ll call him The Ex) was my first love. No matter how shitty our relationship tended to be, I was convinced that he was the love of my life. Ahh, naivete…
Side note: Before we started dating, The Ex was the Ego-Booster/Unavailable Guy in my dah. He started dating me within a month of breaking up with his previous girlfriend. I came to realize over the course of our relationship that he was the exact same guy in about five other girls’ dahs… Ugh.
Anyway. Enter, The Hot Sex Prospect.
The internet is abuzz today with coverage of GQ’s exclusive interview with Rielle Hunter, the woman best known as ex-presidential candidate John Edwards’s mistress and baby mama. Apart from the pantsless photos (watch out, Lady Gaga!), the most shocking part of this article is Hunter’s determination to stand by her finely-coiffed man, despite his continued lack of promises and the unlikeliness of a fairytaleending.
From a casual observer’s perspective, Edwards’s behavior towards everyone involved in the scandal has been pretty despicable. Not only did he hurt his wife Elizabeth in all the obvious ways, but as the GQ piece notes, he went on national TV and claimed that he was NOT the father of Hunter’s baby and that he did NOT love her, all the while renewing his wedding vows and apparently yelling at Hunter every time she was dumb enough to get caught by the paparazzi (but never cutting off their sexual relationship, of course). So Hunter’s refusal to get mad at him, and her insistence that she unconditionally loves him “till death do us part, and probably beyond,” and that he never lies to her, even though “he’s lied to his wife and his state and the country,” seems a little odd.
Are we softening on cheating?
Star Magazine is reporting that Al Gore cheated on his soon-to-be-ex-wife Tipper with Laurie David – the ex-wife of Seinfeld creator Larry David and the co-producer of Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth. And while the pages of Star and its ilk might typically be filled with unreliable sources and sensationalist headlines, these crappy tabloids have recently had a pretty impressive track record of outing cheating public figures (remember the Pulitzer Prize nomination that The National Enquirer received for their coverage of John Edwards’s affair?). So I, and plenty of other news outlets, are inclined to believe this one.
I’m tired of ranting about lies, infidelity and the dangers of Tiger Text. We’re in the middle of a cheating epidemic and it’s pathetic. There’s not much more to be said. So, the only real comment I have on this story is…
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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